TV characters. We love watching them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’d want to hang out with them. After all, sometimes it’s better for the characters on our TVs to stay on our TVs. Let’s look at some characters that we love to watch, but wouldn’t want to meet anytime soon.
Photo credit: idovermani, Flickr
8 Josiah Bartlet
This fictional President made a great leader. He was loved and worshiped by almost everyone in the country and could deliver a hell of a speech. That said, we’d never want to hang out with him. Because seriously, who wants to hang out with an old man who does nothing but ramble about morality and Galileo all the time?
7 Johnny “Drama” Chase
Drama’s a funny guy to watch, so it’s often easy to forget that he’s an unemployed sycophant with no talent and no career. His fits of anger might be funny on TV, but hanging out with him might be a little less fun, especially if you find yourself stuck in the living room watching eight hours of nothing but Viking Quest replays.
6 Eric Cartman
We all already have that friend: the obese hateful bigot who spends most of his time concocting schemes to exterminate the Jews and feed children with their own dead parents. Everyone already knows that fat dude who regularly gets anal probes from aliens and thinks that gingers don’t have souls. So who needs another?
5 Jack Bauer
You ever have one of those really intense friends that just needs to be doing something constantly? That’s Jack — he doesn’t eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, or relax in any way. He won’t go to basketball games and you’ll never be able to convince him to spend a night on the couch watching Top Chef. Sure, he might be fun to hang out with in small doses, but good luck putting up with his intensity and action-packed days for any extended period of time. Also, he f-cking murders people in cold blood.
4 Dexter Morgan
Like Bauer, this guy was born to kill. But unlike the revered CTU agent, Dexter hides his true colors behind a facade of geniality — you’ll never know he’s a murderer unless you’re one of his victims. Of course, he only murders other murderers, so spending time with him could even be kind of fun… until you accidentally kill a hooker. Yep, Dexter might seem cool at first, but one poorly planned trip to Vegas and suddenly he’s after your blood. So let’s just stay away from this serial killer.
3 Hannah Montana
“What?” you’re probably saying. “Why wouldn’t I want to hang out with a cool girl like Miley?” Well, you would. In two months. On or any time after November 23rd, 2010. We can’t wait.
2 The Smoke Monster
Look, we know it’s tough to be a smoke monster. Nobody takes you very seriously when you’re incorporeal and can’t cross water or ash. And we know that all you want to do is go home. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to just go around murdering people indiscriminately, especially since they just want to go home too. How are we supposed to pick up girls when they ask for your name and you just make that ticka-ticka noise? Then when we’re about to take them home, you turn into poisonous sleep spiders and paralyze them. Sorry, Smokey, we’re not hanging out anymore.
1 Glenn Beck
Who’d want to hang out with this guy? Thank God he doesn’t exist.