This Cocky Circus Juggler’s Most Impressive Trick May Have Been Shattering His Hip In A Stunt Gone Awry

Bravo! Worth the price of admission. Nothing quite gets the crowd on their feet like the performer plummeting ten feet to the hardwood floor below.

Hey, don’t get down on yourself pal, you look like a young guy and you have to work through the kinks to perfect your craft. You know the old saying, ‘fall down seven, just stay down for a while, and while you’re down there think about pursuing a different career path.’ I think that’s the quote, will have to double check. Maybe Accounting? There’s not much margin for error there.

You see my motto is the lower you risk, the lower the probability you have at failing. And if you’ve never failed, then you’re the fucking man. Just wear your letterman jacket into a bar and slur your words talking about all the successes you would have had if you tried. Talking about them is almost as good as achieving them without any of the hardship. Bulletproof strategy.

P.S. Don’t take this advice. I’m a piece of shit.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.