This Wednesday for April Fools’ Day, Justin Bieber (who will be roasted tonight) and Kanye West are going to receive half a million gummy dicks in the mail totaling 1,500,000 calories of gummy penis.
That’s right, the two most despised men in music are going to be absolutely bombarded by a candy store’s worth of gummy cock this Wednesday, and it was all made possible by the bros at ‘Ship A Bag Of Dicks‘. By using the promo codes ‘KANYE’ (2,229 times) and ‘BIEBER’ (2,503 times) when sending people bags of dicks, customers of ‘Ship A Bag Of Dicks’ have tallied up so many gummy dongs to be sent to Yeezy and the Beebs (which should be the name of a Saturday morning cartoon) that 500,000 dicks are already GUARANTEED to be sent to the two self-absorbed singers.
We’ve covered the Dick Shipping start up pretty regularly in recent days, as I spent some time talking about how you can send your best friend or worst enemy a dick with ‘Ship A Dick‘, and later my colleague Matt Keohan broke news of their gummy dick shipping service. But the news of how Kanye West and Justin Beieber will be literally drowning in gummy cock on April Fools’ Day was too good not to share with you. The ‘Ship A Dick’ guys have covered their campaign exhaustively over on their blog, but here are the main points you need to know:
On April 1 over 5,000 Bags Of Dicks will be shipped to Justin Bieber and Kanye West with a note that says “Suck a bag of dicks”, the result of our “Buy One Give One” promotion inspired by our survey of 3,500 email subscribers who voted that both Bieber and Kanye should eat the most Bags Of Dicks.
5,000 Bags Of Dicks x 100 candy dicks in each bag = 500,000 dicks. Let that sink in for a moment…HALF A MILLION F*CKING DICKS.
300 calories in each bag = 1,500,000 CALORIES OF DICK.
As stated in the video above, there’s a buy-one-get-one deal going on where if you buy a bag of dicks to send to a friend with the note ‘eat a bag of dicks’ then you can choose to send a bag, FOR FREE, to either Kanye West or Justin Bieber, and you can do so by learning more on their blog HERE.
I’m half-tempted to send two bags of dicks just so I can in turn send a bag of dicks to both the Beebs and Yeezy, because I can’t decide which of the two is more insufferable and more deserving of a satchel full of gummy cocks.