Just because some of these guys are ridiculous doesn’t mean they aren’t ridiculously awesome. In this list I take a look at men as portrayed by TV shows and ad campaigns that couldn’t exist on this plane of reality.
8 Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother
Ted is a giant sopping wet vag of a man. Being a hopeless romantic is fine, but it’s a wonder that Ted finds the woman who became the mother in How I Met Your Mother at all. You can’t be so obsessive, desperate, quirky and pretentious without quickly being labeled as a creep by women.
7 The Most Interesting Man in the World from the Dos Equis Ad Campaign
Captain Morgan’s has the Captain, 7-Up has that red dot with the sunglasses (for those of you who remember because you weren’t born in the 90s) and Dos Equis has the most interesting man in the world. Here, we have a man so smart, confident, experienced, charming and well dressed that he becomes instantly memorable. Who in the history of men could live like that without evolving into a James Bondian super villain of some sort?
6 Leonard from The Big Bang Theory
No way does a guy who looks and acts like that get a girl half as good looking and confident as that blond chick on The Big Bang Theory. Every single time Leonard opens his mouth he would lose her in real life. This show is definitely not written by women, because they know better than to give real life nerds that kind of false hope.
5 Drew Carey from The Drew Carey Show
During one season of the Drew Carey show, he somehow hooks up with Kate. It wasn’t something that Miss O’Brien even thought about until she overheard Drew talking about how hopelessly in love with her he was. If the guy who could pine for the girls the hardest was the most successful type of guy, then everyone in the world would have a different mate, guaranteed.
4 Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother
Barney Stinson is an amazing guy. Partly because he’d be super fun to have a beer with, partly because he’s like a mythical super-male who seems like he can do anything, and partly because here’s a dude that’s so empty on the inside and the lies he lives are so hollow and desperate that any woman IRL (that means “in real life” for nerdz) would be able to see through him in an instant.
3 Rudy from Misfits
First off, if you haven’t seen the UK show Misfits, think Heroes (yes, this is another show about people with super powers) crossed with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and start watching. Rudy is one of the most hilariously deviant, yet well-meaning dudes in the entire history of comedic television. He’s so messed up that his super power is splitting into his sensitive puss-puss inside self and his regular outside self. You’ve never seen someone be so mean to himself.
2 George Costanza/Larry David from Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm
No one that neurotic, bald, bespectacled and whiny has ever landed so many beautiful women, let alone ones who will do things with them like combine TV, sex and hot pastrami (nice Seinfeld reference, dude!).
1 The Old Spice Guy
The only reason this is unrealistic is because the actor that portrays the guy is named Isaiah Mustafa and if the U.S. was aware of this, half the country would boycott Old Spice until he could produce an American birth certificate, a la Obama.