Sending the Trash Back to the Staten Island Dump on This Week’s ‘Jersey Shore’

by 9 years ago

Drop Your Fucking Big Ass
Oh Angelina… that b*tch never learns. She wanted back into the house this season despite the fact that she only made it through a couple episodes in the first one. You know she was upset at how pathetic she looked on the show and was only trying to get some street cred back with a stronger appearance. That was even more obvious last night when she didn’t leave the Miami house while everyone was out at the club. She waited until they got home to announce her departure as if that would show she wasn’t afraid of them. She did her best to play both sides to open the season, but then things started rolling downhill very quickly. The worst mistake she ever made was throwing a couple punches at The Situation after he called her a ho. I don’t think he was elected to the position (more like self-proclaimed), but you can’t throw punches at the leader of the house.


That incident announced her final moments in the house. You knew it wouldn’t be too much longer from that point. She called everyone in the house fake and threatened to fight anyone who came near her. I guess she thinks sitting on people is a strong attacking move. All The Situation asked for was an apology and Angelina wouldn’t even do that for him. The fight between her and Snooki wasn’t as good as the Angelina/Sammi affair. They rolled around on the couch for a little while and the only highlight was when Angelina charged Snooki like the elephant that she is and took her down to the floor. I’m not even sure why Angelina was so upset about Snooki bringing home Alex. She owns rights over him? She’d hooked up with him once from what we’d seen and had been steadily dating Jose for a few weeks now.

Angelina made an appearance on the After Show this week, which aired on MTV after the episode, to announce that she had a boyfriend and was moving in with him. It turned out she’d been dating the dude for two months, so the desperation is highly apparent if she’s moving in with him so quickly. Maybe he can buy her some nice new garbage bags for their three-month anniversary.

The one interesting social dynamic that exists within the house is how Angelina got treated differently than everyone else. Regardless of what other altercations existed in the house (JWoww vs. The Situation, JWoww vs. Sammi, Ronnie vs. The Situation, Sammi vs. JWoww and Snooki, etc.), everyone broke bread and made amends. They all truly display a family dynamic where everything can be made whole at the end of the day despite what was said or what body parts were used. Angelina, however, could never enter that circle and now she’s taking her trashy self back to the Staten Island Dump.


We Have a Situation
It’s probably the fame and recognition helping his game out, but The Situation has actually been closing a buncha broads this season. He brings out his Canadian “model” (I still question that distinction based on her height) to Clutch in the hopes of getting a late night no-pants party. This girl really wanted to get her money’s worth with The Situation because she wouldn’t let any other girl near him at the club. Eventually they got back to the house and proceeded to get busy in the “Smush Room.” There was no denying what was happening behind the closed door because you could hear that b*tch moaning like a f*cking orca whale down the block. To add to the fun, Vinny and Pauly D started grilling her the next morning to find out whether or not she had a good time and if she’d come back for more, despite knowing full well The Situation would never have need for her again. Finally, there’s nothing like having a kid with a New York area accent like Vinny try to pull off a Canadian impersonation. What are you talking aboooooot!

Still to Come
There seems to be some heavy drama coming when The Situation steals Vinny’s girl at the club, which leads to a bit of an altercation and lots of f-bombs.  The rumors have been out that The Situation's head was becoming too big for even his friends/castmates to deal with.  Is this where we finally see them turn on him?


TAGSAngelinaJersey Shorejersey shore recapSnookiThe Situation