A Bro’s Guide To Dress Shoes: 6 Affordable Shoes For Wedding Season, The Board Room, Or A Trip To Las Vegas
What’s your favorite time of the year? Wedding Season! Said nobody ever. But they are one of the rare opportunities where you get to swag out over level 9000. An integral part of every bros sharpest digs are his shoes. We know this. Shoe game is also important for the office environment, this is known. Pull up in that board of directors meeting wearing those Andy Dufresne’ like a boss. Dress for the job you want; whether that be Junior Associate Vice President of Nobody GAF LLC, or Mayor of Poundtown.
Invest in yourself. We’d all like to think we’re judged for the content of our character, or our performance in the clutch, but in reality how we present ourselves is like 80% of our reputation’s. Look good, smell good, act right and you should get where you want to go.
Here’s the deal Bros, nice shoes are expensive. I took it upon my own damn self and found some of the best deals for your dollar. Affordability, fleekness, and comfort all balanced in equal measure.
Would you be able to tell I’m a bond villain immediately if the camera were to pan up from my feet? This is something you should think about. Because the best shoes in the world are worn by evil people in movies. You can point to anti-heroes like Jason Statham in the Transporter, or John Wick as “good guys” who wear nice shoes, but even they murder people. That’s the bar from now on. Can I catch some bodies in these? If yes, buy them.
These are the most versatile option I found. Will look stellar in any snazzy environment, with just about any outfit. Very cheap for how mint they are.
Your God given solemn responsibility at a wedding is to escort nana to her seat, help coordinate the venue parking, make sure your boy doesn’t run out the backdoor, and bang a bridesmaid. In order to fulfill these duties, you need to be on your feet all day, and therefore comfortable, and mobile. I tried on a pair and my toesies had all kinds of space. But more importantly, they look trill. Which is why we’re all here in the end.
A weekend trip to Vegas has some pre-established expectations that you just accept. 1. I will lose money. 2. I will wonder half-way if she’s a prostitute. 3. I will panic when I think I have no cash on me. 4. I’ll exhale when I remember I do have a $5 in my jeans because Joey tipped the driver. 5. She is not a prostitute, turns out. 6. You’ll walk 38 miles. So comfort is another must. But this is Vegas, so looking good is the name of the game.
Here’s the deal, there are actual high rollers in Vegas. People who own tigers and are pals with Wayne Newton. So going the shiny shoe route is a mistake. I say go the other direction. Let’s go matte, leather, vintage. Cuffed jeans. You know the look. You’ll stand out, and be comfortable while watching other people gamble with what’s essentially your life’s worth.
So these aren’t “dress shoes” in the classic sense, but you can make them be if you know what you’re doing. I have a pair of these that’ve been worn to shreds. If I step in a puddle my socks’ll get wet because the soles are blown out like Belladonnas anus. That’s not to say these things are of poor quality. It’s just that they are so comfortable, that I’ve wore them almost as casually as sneakers. Dress shoes aren’t meant for that kind of frequency. They’re on ‘dog years’ time. So really my pair is probably pushing 111 at this point. You’ve got plenty of color options; but get yourself some blues, those are the best.
These aren’t the dressiest of shoes, but I tell you they look damn good if you combine the right color with the right suit. Neutral slacks with neutral shirt (possibly plaid). Ridiculous comfortable. Sturdy.
Steeve Mad-den, Steeeeve. Men’s shoes. MEN’S SHOES! Homie cuts a pretty slick pair of Tim’s that the Wolf (and the bro king Disick himself) would be proud of.
Love the Double Monk straps. Kind of Tombstone-y feel to them. Too loud? What’re you worried about being overdressed? This is a wedding. The rest of these snaggletoothed hillbillies are underdressed. Shame them with your effort, because you care about this union, and made the selfish effort to look fly. Because upstaging the groom and making the bride question her choices is hard got-damn work. They go exceptionally well in summer or spring type weddings (probably outdoors. Or if you see a mason jar, you are at one). Like a light grey suit, or “casual formal” tieless.
For more style advice and things you should buy be sure to check out our ‘BroBible Deal of the Day‘!