Actresses Win Big in This Week’s Top 5 Hottie Index

by 9 years ago

The BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index returns this week with some new faces to keep you warm during the winter. Once again to refresh the readers, in order to make our index, the celebrity, athlete, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. Just because you're hot isn't enough. You need to be in the news.

5. Lindsay Lohan  

It's sad to see what Lohan has become since her days in “Mean Girls.” While she was still illegal at the time, we all knew that she had some serious potential. She's gotten some work done in recent years and has lost her luster, but we can be thankful that she now has no problem taking her clothes off for the camera. She's re-entered the news recently because she's suing E-Trade for using her likeness in a commercial. That likeness being an infant named Lindsay who's accused of being a “Milk-a-holic.” Oh, Lindsay, if only it was just milk for you.

4. Sandra Bullock  

I don't know what it is about Bullock, but there's something about her that makes me think she'd be a wild time in the sack. I see nails, some light biting, and maybe some restraints. At the very least you know the Best Actress winner would put on a good show.

3. Christina Hendricks  

The Oscars are a time for actresses to strut their stuff on the red carpet and few of them have as much “stuff” as Hendricks does strapped to their chests. The “Mad Men” star gets lost in the celebrity shuffle because she hasn't really hit the mainstream, but she once again brought the heat at last Sunday's Oscars. It's our duty as bros to make sure Hendricks gets the respect she deserves because she quite possibly has the best set of cans in Hollywood these days. I'd love to be the sailor motorboating her at night.

2. Jamie Jungers  

Howard Stern hosted the Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant this week and Jungers took home the winning honors. She dished out a lot of info on Tiger's junk and sex habits, but we don't give a shit about that. What's important is that she's the best-looking piece that Tiger cheated on his wife with and she was down for a threesome with Elin as well. You can't really compete with that.

1. Demi Moore 

She may be in her late 40s, but Moore is holding up rather well. This cougar/MILF knows she has to keep her shit tight or else her much younger husband Ashton Kutcher will leave her ass for a younger model. One thing she has going for her is that she hasn't forgotten how to work a str*pper pole from her days filming “Striptrease.” It came out this week that she recently was at a pole dancing party at the Chateau Marmont and decided to show everyone her best moves. She even brought her daughter, Rumor, up to teach her a thing or two. Any broad that's openly promoting that kind of behavior is good in our book. Leo DiCaprio was near Kutcher as this was going down and gave him a high-five upon seeing all of this. If you're getting props from a guy who's banged some hot b*tches in his day because your wife is teaching your step daughter how to pole dance, you know you're in good shape.