My Time Getting a Ballcuzzi

by 7 years ago

“Doood, you take a small bowl, fill it with warm water, dip your balls in that shit and then have a girl blow bubbles through a straw. Ballcuzzi, man, come on.”


I took the next wave in and full-on sprinted up the rocky mountain trail (if you’ve ever hiked down to Blacks you understand my determination) to my car, ripped off my wetsuit, threw on some shorts and was off.

It was the first time in my life I was happy to have a girlfriend. It was Wednesday and I knew she would be out of class by the time I got back to school so I texted her to meet up for lunch. We ate and she told me about her day but I could only think about one thing. On our way out I grabbed a soup bowl and four straws. “What’s that for?” she asked. “It’s for you,” I said. I could hardly contain myself.

We proceeded to my room where I interrupted our make-out session to fetch some hot water from the showers. “I love you so much babe. Would you give me a ballcuzzi?” I said as I held out the straws like they were flowers. “A what? What do you mean?” “It’s really easy; you just blow in the straws. I’ve never had one but I think it’ll feel good.” She thought it was as funny as I did and we gave it a go. In hindsight, I don’t know why I ever broke up with this girl. “Well, it’s better than sucking your balls,” she laughed before taking another big inhale. There is nothing a chick in love won't do.

If you're going to get a girl to do this, I highly recommend four straws. It’s an amazing sensation. So, for any of you bros who’ve been saving up for a hot tub, there’s really no need. Ballcuzzi’s absolutely dominate all forms of jacuzzis and hot tubs. 


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