Underwear is Optional in This Week’s Hottie Index

by 4 years ago

Kate Upton

With the Olympics over, it’s time to shift the hottie focus back to the general population. But we don’t completely abandon the Olympic theme. There’s some gold to be honored here. Let’s start with that and see where it takes us.

Rita Ora


Underwear is totally overrated, especially on women. Who doesn’t like easy access? Rita Ora totally agrees, although her choice of a swiss cheese dress at Milan Fashion Week is totally weird. I mean, what the fuck is that dress? Someone totally paid her to wear that piece of shit, so it’s no wonder she’s going without her panties. I’d do the same to take the attention off the hideous dress.

Emma Stone


Leaked naked selfies are always cool. One came out this week that kinda looked like Emma Stone. You could have totally convinced me it was her and I would have added it to the spank bank. But then she came out and said it wasn’t her, because of course she’d never admit it if it was. It definitely looks close enough. If this isn’t Emma Stone, this chick should totally start making some money off being her look-a-like. We love capitalism in America.

Vanessa Hanson

UFC had a big weekend with bad-ass beauty Ronda Rousey beating the piss out of her opponent so bad they had to stop the fight. Rousey is more exception than the rule, as the beauties of UFC are usually the Octagon girls, not the girls in the ring themselves. Case and point is Hanson, who’s an Octagon girl with a smashing Instagram account. I mean fuck. Hugh Heffner needs to give her a call to be the latest Octagon girl to bless the pages of Playboy.

Brett Rossi


So Charlie Sheen is getting married again. I’m as surprised as you are that Sheen is on to marriage number four. As you’d expect, he’s dipping into a former adult entertainer, and by that I mean his soon-to-be wife used to get banged out for money. I’m not sure what Rossi’s doing now other than spending her future husband’s money. She just has to get those divorced papers filed from her previous marriage, which has apparently been over for two years. Last time I checked it shouldn’t take that long to get a divorce, but can you trust a girl with a guy’s first name?

Kate Upton 

Kate Upton

We end with one of our old favorites. Not only did Kate grace the back cover of Sports Illustrated’s latest swimsuit issue (because of she’s still so hot (like Hansel right now) that she can’t be left off despite being on the last two covers), but she flew around in a gravity-free plane. Ever wondered what bikini boobs looked like in zero gravity? Now you know. Final verdict: more perk and less bounce. I kinda miss the bounce.

TAGSEmma StoneKate UptonRita Orathe hottie index

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