6 modes of transportation that won’t impress the ladies

by 8 years ago  •  10 Comments
Lame Modes of Transportation

Cyron, Flickr


Are you trying to catch the eye of a special lady? Got a hot date and don’t want to pick her up in your 1977 AMC Gremlin? If so, then you may be thinking of showing off by showing up in a creative ride that increases your chances of getting laid. However, while some modes of transport, such as a hot air balloon, might be seen as romantic, there are plenty of other lame ways to get around that are guaranteed to keep you from getting that nightcap you’re looking for. When trying to attract a girl, here are 6 modes of transportation to steer clear from.

Photo credit: Cyron, Flickr

6 Unicycle

I don’t care how hard a unicycle is to ride – rolling past the cheerleader squad on one of these bad boys isn’t going to impress anyone. Sure, you can add in parlor tricks like juggling, but if you act like a circus clown than you’re going to be treated like one. So unless you want to get laughed at, why not go another route and invest in a bicycle built for two? Yeah, it’s not exactly a BMW, but if you’re hellbent on peddle power then it’s just about as romantic as it gets.

5 Pony

We’ve all seen those stock photos of couples riding horses on the beach. And, yes, riding around on a great, big stallion might be a great way to get her to call you her stallion later on in the evening. However, if you’re going to go Bronco style, then you’ve to go big – because a dude riding around on a little pony is just about the most emasculating thing a grown man can do. If you want a better option, sweep her off her feet with one of those fancy horse-drawn carriages – and leave the pony rides for the bedroom.

4 Segway Scooter

Riding a Segway scooter is a surefire way to make sure that no one is going to respect you. Not even cops can demand respect when puttering around town on these totally lame two-wheeled machines. Sure, it might be fun to hop on a Segway and roll around for a minute or two, but if you want to impress a lady, then this is not the way to do it. If you’re dead-set on going the scooter route, why not try a Vespa? Yeah, they’re still a little dorky, but at least you can get up to speeds fast enough to get the heart racing on that pretty young thing who has her arms wrapped around you.

3 Children’s Choo-Choo Train

Riding the rails is often viewed as a romantic way to travel. However, much like everything else in life, size matters. Yes, women often want a man who is a kid at heart, but that doesn’t mean you should try and cram your full-sized body into a children-sized choo-choo train. As such, leave your conductor’s hat at home and stick to a much more romantic trolley ride around town.

2 Roller Skates

If you’re looking for an excuse to show off your roller disco skills, then I suggest you just forget about dating women altogether. Roller skates are old fashioned and out of touch. So, unless you’re trying to impress an 80-year-old grandmother, this tactic likely isn’t going to work. If you want to roll around on something with four wheels, may I suggest a regular old automobile (preferably something from this decade)?

1 Gay Cruise Ship

Inviting your girl on a gay cruise is definitely unconventional. Still, you might be thinking it is a surefire way to limit the amount of competition you’ll have to deal with when vying for her affection. However, while gay men are not seen as a romantic interest among women, many ladies still consider them incredibly fun to hang out with. As such, unless you want to watch your lady do a conga line with a bunch of other men all night long, then you might want to reconsider the half-price deal on that upcoming gay cruise. For better luck out there on the water, pretty much any other type of boat will do. For cheap thrills and a romantic evening, why not take a trip around the lake in a totally not-gay paddleboat?

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