First dates are almost always slightly awkward no matter what. You have to spend the whole time doing the information-exchange and talking about things like hometowns, colleges, handcuff preferences in bed, and occupations. Make life a little easier for yourself by avoiding these 7 places on your first date.
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Mexican always seems like a good idea because there are fun drinks like frozen margaritas and sangria. However there’s almost nothing on the menu that won’t cause horrible indigestion issues followed by several quick trips to the bathroom. There are few things worse than having to keep interrupting your conversation with excuse me…pardon me…my bad…I swear this has never happened to my body before.
6 Outdoor Event
Unless the weather outside is absolutely perfect, an outdoors date is doomed from the start. If there’s one ounce of humidity in the air your date will spend the majority of the time trying to keep her hair under control. Unless you want to spend the entire time answering the question, “is my hair still straight?” opt for an indoor venue where you don’t have to lie to her when her hair starts to curl unattractively.
5 A Boat
In theory this sounds like a romantic night under the starry skies. In reality it could be a disaster. All you need is rough water and/or a woman with motion sickness problems and you could spend the entire time holding back her hair as she throws up along the starboard side. She can be the hottest woman in the entire world but you’re going to have to be pretty daring to brave a good night kiss after seeing everything she ate for the past week come up.
4 To See a Romantic Movie
You’re just setting yourself up to look bad if you take her to see a rom-com. The men in those movies are always impossibly good looking and full of romantic gestures. Unless you’re planning on sprinkling rose petals on her bed afterward and growing a six-pack in mere minutes, go see a horror movie instead. While you’ll never be able to compete with Matthew Mcconaughey, the murderers in Hostel 7 will always make you look like a real classy gentleman.
3 Your Place
>Unless you live in a castle or you’re a gourmet chef, you’ll look cheap, uncreative, and/or horny if you invite a woman over to your place the first time you’re seeing her. Step it up a notch, take off the mesh gym shorts, and take her out anyplace else where you don’t have to worry about her messing up the DVR setting for your guilty pleasure show, Ugly Betty.
2 Your Parents’ House
Sure the food is cheap (free) and the conversation is good (your parents nonstop questions won’t allow for any awkward pauses) but it’s still not okay for a first date — even if you are still living at home. So avoid the tour of your childhood bedroom (honorable mention trophies included) and skip the part of the conversation where your parents inquire as to where you met (last call at a bar) and save this date night for when you’re trying to break up with a woman.
1 A Sports Bar
Unless you go to sports bars for their wing specials and free bar nuts, this won’t go well on a first date. It’s great that you’re so passionate about a team, but seeing you yell and curse at the TV after every play doesn’t make the greatest first impression. A woman gets a little nervous how you’re going to treat her when she makes a mistake after seeing you threaten to personally strangle and decapitate every player who misses a touchdown or fumbles the ball.