Were you at the Lions-Ravens game last Friday? Have you been frothing at the mouth and/or exhibiting abnormal behavior? Well, sorry to tell you this, but you have rabies. According to M&T Bank Stadium officials, a bat landed on a spectator and was brushed away. In the process of its exit, it may have landed on some other spectators.
Um, so yea, that happened. If you were in section 500 and haven’t taken a shower this week because of your hydrophobia, get your ass to the hospital or something.
Also, you probably smell because your hygiene sucks.
In somewhat related news, a bat bit the Lions Ndamukong Suh last year during the Thanksgiving game, thus causing him to act aggressively and stomp a Packers player. At least that’s what he’s going to start telling people.