7 awful, but possibly awesome, date ideas

by 7 years ago  •  5 Comments
Awesome Date Ideas

kissyface, Flickr

You could go to the movies or dinner. Or, you could risk your relationship with the woman you’re drooling over with one of these dates. Depending on the chick, these experiences have potential to be more than fun. They can build a bond that no horror flick or candle-lit feast could elicit. They also have the potential to go very, very wrong. Gauge your girl and read on.

Photo credit: kissyface, Flickr

7 Hitting the gym
Why it could be awesome: Tight gym clothes, endorphins, downward dogs. Do we really need to say more? On top of the inherent sexiness in an attractive woman working out is the opportunity for you to show off. Teach her some moves and feel empowered. If she’s well versed in that arena maybe you could learn a thing or two as well, and perhaps even discover the greatness that is Pilates.

What could go wrong: An overdose of adrenaline and some not-so friendly competition. But that’s the least of your concerns. Her being a little too familiar with the gym floor while you’re trying to figure out if you’re going to in fact throw will probably not make for the best time.

6 Climbing trees
Include here any other hippie-like activities you may still occasionally indulge in: Frolf, hacky sack, or hiking, for instance.

Why it could be awesome: Fresh air and an opportunity to regress while you’re at it. Soak in some pretty scenery, and snap a photo of her sitting on a rock or high on a branch with some mountains in the background of whatever. Totally Facebook profile-worthy. And you were there for that shit.

What could go wrong: Bears. But more realistically: Dealing with a complainer.

5 Shopping
Why it could be awesome: Just look how happy this stupid couple in the picture is! “Flexing our plastic and reward points! Purchasing our identities with a bunch of cheaply made shit! Consumerism, yay!” Perhaps they are even on their way to split an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. Delicious.

What could go wrong: Let’s assume you’re not with a chick who tosses heaps of synthetic clothes at you, makes you responsible for guarding her knock-off designer bag while holding ugly garb up to her body and asks for your opinion on everything. Some people just have different shopping styles. I’ve almost cried from boredom while my boyfriend stared at Vans tennis shoes in an attempt to determine which pair would be best suited for skateboarding, punk shows, and work. Best plan of attack is to go solo, and then meet up for Auntie Anne’s pretzels.

4 That modern, pornographic art exhibit that’s out
Why it could be awesome: Titillation. Taboo. An intellectual conversation. Or just giggling like 13-year-olds over some drafts at a nearby bar and wondering what the f**k the artist was on when he or she made said “art.”

What could go wrong: She could get, um, offended. She could think you’re a total pervert — that you really get off on staring at some artist’s dried-up man juice covered with glitter on newspapers depicting Saddam Hussein. Hot.

3 Taking a road trip
Why it could be awesome: Seeing the country together and having someone pretty to talk to when you drive through Nebraska. Learn more about each other with “On the Road” playlists and fantasize about the prospect of road head (even though we’re scared to death of truckers and don’t want you to get distracted at the wheel, now do we?).

What could go wrong: You’ll be together, every single hour of the day. Get lost? GPS craps out? Missed the exit to get In-N-Out after four days of barely eating? Way too many opportunities to brawl await.

2 Drinking at the strip club
Why it could be awesome: If she’s game, lap dances and tits galore. Get wasted and get turned on. You may blow your whole paycheck, but this moment — seeing your girl getting hot by another girl who happens to be naked and smell like sanitizer — it will last forever (in your memory).

What could go wrong: If she’s not game, everything. Just. Everything.

1 Ingesting psychedelics
Why it could be awesome: Mind-opening experiences. Getting more than just enjoyment from merely petting one another.

What could go wrong: Every druggie’s worst nightmare: The Bad Trip. Can involve some, or all (but hopefully not), of the following: uncontrollable sobbing, demonic hallucinations, feeling the need to stab the imaginary bugs crawling all over your body with a not-so-imaginary knife, shitting yourself, puking your innards onto her super cute dress.

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