Blazed Movie Reviews: ‘Skyfall’

by 6 years ago

Columbia Pictures

I can’t smoke pot at home anymore because my kids are spies. So I do it at the movies. This week: Daniel Craig is back in his third go-round as James Bond in Skyfall.

Guess what? The state I live in just legalized recreational marijuana use. Can you even imagine that? I could have been getting medical marijuana like every other hipster but instead I just bought it from creeps, the old-fashioned way. Now I’m going to be able to go to 7-11 and buy pot. Whole new world, man.

Anyways. I never really had the boner for James Bond that a lot of other dudes do. I guess it’s because when I was growing up Timothy Dalton was 007 and he was pretty much a total pussy. Did you hear that Idris Elba might be the next James Bond? That’s awesome. He would be really good. Anyways the current James Bond is Daniel Craig and he’s pretty good. He looks like a guy who’s been in a fight or two.

So Skyfall is about James Bond faking his death to retire, but guess what? That never works in spy world, so when MI6 is attacked he needs to nut up and find the attackers. It turns out to be a dude named Raoul Silva, played by the incredible Javier Bardem, who should basically play every villain in any movie ever. He’s just so good at being slimy and weird and uncomfortable. Anyways Silva used to be an agent just like Bond but when he got captured and tortured during a mission he was all “This sucks!” and quit to be a terrorist instead.

Now he’s after M (Judi Dench), the leader of the organization, and he’ll stop at nothing to get here. And from here it’s non-stop chasing, punching, shooting, blowing up and even some kissing. This is a good movie, not just a good James Bond movie. It’s filmed super beautifully and all of the acting is good and I can buy weed legally now. Go see this movie!

Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos and grammar errors but left everything else in.

TAGSAlbert Finneyblazed movie reviewsDaniel CraigDrugsJavier BardemJudi DenchMarijuanaNaomie HarrispotRalph FiennesSkyfall