Classy prison guard trades cookies for sex at female jail

Abner Canda may have been a good prison guard at Everett, Wash.’s Snohomish County Jail. But that all goes out the window when you implicitly barter cookies for sexual favors from a prisoner.

cookie police

Cookie Police composite by Shutterstock

An affidavit claims that a 22-year-old woman was engaged by Canda in a game of sexual bartering while held at the correctional facility.

The unidentified woman told police that in May 2012, she showed Canda her breasts “willingly” in exchange for food. In November of the same year, Canda came into her room behind her and groped her sexually and invasively without the same exchange in place.

The final straw for the woman was when Canda performed oral sex on her in January 2013 then gave her a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies after the act was completed. The affidavit says that it’s unclear if this was a regular exchange or a one-off gift of oral-sex-related confectionaries.

The woman told police that she came clean about her place in the relationship due to a desire “to change and be a better person now. I’m ashamed for my actions.”

Canda has been on probation since the allegations were levied in January and was charged with custodial sexual misconduct last week.

According to the Miss Manners Book of Etiquette, an apology cake would not be appropriate in the scenario.