Dexter is in love and we’re set up for a magical holiday episode leading up to the season finale. So let’s pick some Winners and Losers for the episode “Do You See What I See?”
LOSER: The future
Dexter imagines an older version of himself still enjoy his murdering habit along with a fulfilling romantic life with Hannah McKay — who, for whatever reason, did not get to put on some age-enhancing makeup like Michael C. Hall did. The episode centers around Dexter’s yearning to “have it all” like any post-feminist woman. Unfortunately, the rest of the episode reveals that things aren’t looking as bright as they once seemed.
WINNER: Masuka in an elf hat
Not so much a winner of a plot point as it is a triumph of holiday cheer. As is Vince’s quip that the holidays in Miami Metro suck “big reindeer dicks.” I don’t get enough time to reflect on reindeer dicks but now I can and I have Vince to thank.
WINNER: Captain Matthews’ one-liners
Matthews confronts Dexter about the possibility of him being the Bay Harbor Butcher but is satisfied by Dexter’s responses. He insists to LaGuerta that Dexter is innocent and that she needs to come to grips with the fact that Doakes is the Bay Harbor Butcher she’s looking for (which is aided by fake evidence planted by Dexter to link Doakes to a new murder shack). Naturally, Matthews uses some colorful attitude to explain it all away. Never change, Matthews.
LOSER: This guy trying to get a lap dance
Quinn can’t get a hold of his stripper girlfriend, Nadia, so he tries to figure out what happened to her with a visit down to her old place of work. One of the strippers tells her that Nadia left for Vegas because she needed a fresh start. This poor sucker is trying to get a lap dance during the pseudo interrogation. Kind of a boner killer, I’d presume.
And kudos to The Fox Hole for opening back up mere days after their manager was shot and killed in his office. Guys in sweatpants looking for illegal immigrants to grind their crank don’t have time for mourning or business reform.
WINNER: Chain smoking for custody of your children
Arlene Schram, Hannah’s old juvy roommate, is visited by Deb for information about Hannah murdering a counselor. Schram’s living a clean life now after years as an addict — she classily claims “they can’t take your kids for chain smoking” — so Deb’s attempt to upset the apple cart puts a little fear of God into her. Hannah attempts to keep her from snitching but it’s unclear if she succeeded or not because…
LOSER: Anti-anxiety meds
Deb got herself into a car crash on the way to question Arlene for a second time. The cause? Anti-anxiety meds led her to veg out while driving. Dexter initially thinks she might have popped a few too many until Deb insists that Hannah may have poisoned her just like Sal Price. Some sleuthing and a lab test later reveal that Deb's water bottle was laced with several extra doses of the anti-anxiety meds. Despite Hannah's teary eyed plea to Dexter — accentuated by the fact that they just spent Christmas Eve together as a family with harrison — that she had nothing to do with Deb being drugged, all of the signs are there for Dexter to mobilize on.
LOSER: Beautiful murdering botanists across the globe
Hannah’s teary eyed plea to Dexter doesn’t help assuage the concerns he has after finding Deb’s water bottle had the extra anti-anxiety meds dissolved into it. So he turns over the poisoned pen of Sal Price to Deb, leading to Hannah’s arrest for his murder.
Any plot point that leads to a sad Yvonne Strahovski is not okay by me.
LOSER: Revenge against recently paroled Cuban crime lords
Pictured above: That awkward moment when you realize the police chief wants you to kill the guy who brutally murdered your mom and you can’t.
Even worse than Dexter’s baby mama drama? Dexter sets out to kill the man who initially put out the hit on his mother 40 years earlier. You know, the chainsaw massacre in front of young Dexter and his brother. Estrada is paroled after a long time and when Dexter gets him on his table, prepared to give him the same chainsaw-filled fate, Estrada reveals that his release was pushed for by LaGuerta. Dexter puts 2+2 together and realizes it’s all a trap designed to out him as the Bay Harbor Butcher. Estrada escapes during the police distraction, LaGuerta finds an empty table and a running chainsaw, and oh boy are troubles ahead.
PREVIEW SPOILERS AHEAD!
So it looks like in next week’s finale, we get a remorseless Hannah in jail threatening to reveal Deb’s knowledge of Dexter’s murders, warrants out for Dexter’s arrest, Dexter contemplating a murder of LaGuerta, and Dexter’s arrest (??!?!). Yikes. I’ve said this before in this space, but in my opinion, Dexter does season finales as well as any cable drama out there. I’m curious to find out how they’ll be taking things into the eighth and final season so next week’s episode seems like a potentially shocking conclusion to the year.