When last we left Dexter, he found a new protégé, was visited by an old friend, and everything seemed like a mess. What’s going on this week? Let’s watch S08E07 “Dress Code” and see what’s up with America’s favorite murderer.
WINNER: Deb’s newfound sense of self
So you know how Deb couldn’t stand herself for wanting Dexter to kill people? And then she was kind of okay with it? And then she was so not okay with it that she drugged and drank herself nearly into oblivion? Now she’s okay with it again and wants Dexter to off Hannah (Yvonne Strahovski) after her reemergence and subsequent poisoning of Deb and Dexter at the end of last week’s episode.
LOSER: Zack’s neediness
Zack is a little too enthusiastic about learning the ways of Dexter’s “Code” after a pow-wow with Dr. Vogel. Unfortunately, that means that he’s knocking on Dexter’s door obsessively which is not a good look for a 40-something-year-old man to have a teen boy showing up at all hours of the day.
Dexter tells his new progeny to get a job to appear a little less like a weirdo than he currently does. Basics first, Zack.
LOSER: Elway’s neediness, too
Meanwhile, Deb’s private investigator boss Elway is so unable to hide his feelings for Deb that when she rebuffs his obvious office flirting, he goes off the rails and says he gave her everything when she left the police force and she should be grateful. Also, she should stop being a bitch. Slam dunk way into Deb’s heart, Elway. Women love when you call them an ingrate and call them a bitch. Totally smooth negs, bro.
WINNER: Hannah McKay’s glamorous new lifestyle
Ol’ poisonous Hannah McKay goes by the name Maggie and is married to some rich dude named Miles Castner hanging out in some fancy pants social club. And the husband even knows that Dexter flipped her to jail (though probably not the exact circumstances). Way to upgrade from jail, Hannah! Just goes to show how being really really ridiculously good looking will literally get you away with anything.
The downside? Miles is super possessive of Hannah and she initially thought of asking Dexter to kill him for her. But she changed her mind when she saw Dexter all drugged and realized that she was still in love with him. Awww.
WINNER: The Rasta Mouse
When Deb comes to Dexter’s apartment, we learn that Harrison’s favorite show is something called “The Rasta Mouse”. Harrison won’t even leave the show alone for a second to say hi to Auntie Deb. All glory to the Rasta Mouse.
Meanwhile, Dexter catches Deb up on the Hannah situation and Deb immediately notes how Dexter still seems to be in love with Hannah. But Deb just wants to see her murdered and gone and isn’t sure Dexter can be objective in his pursuit.
LOSER: Daughter boobs
Masuka goes to check out his daughter’s new job at what he thought was a sports bar. But there’s his little newfound daughter working as a topless waitress. If one were interested in seeing a Dora Madison Burge topless photo, they might be able to find it here (NSFW obviously). For science!
WINNER: Random asskickings
Dexter’s dealing with Zack’s bloodlust to kill again but gets stopped by one of Hannah’s new husband’s goon squads attacks him in an alleyway. Miles then tells Hannah that he knows she saw Dexter and he gets all crazy and possessive and drags her to a boat. And as Dexter comes to save her, he finds that she’s already brutally murdered miles in cold blood because poison just wouldn’t cut it this time. Bad times but man that Hannah vagina must SING.
Dexter helps her with the cleanup of the body because they still love each other and you guys just can’t understand 😦
LOSER: Dexter’s sexy neighborlady
Dexter’s neighborlady whom he went on a Jamie Batista-scheduled date with, Cassie, runs into Deb and is informed that Dexter talked about her. Apparently she’d been confused by the experience given his lack of followup. Deb advises her to cast her lot with the other guy she was dating at Jamie’s birthday party since Dexter is a riddle she doesn’t really want to solve.
Unfortunately, there’s no time for her to find love since Cassie ends up dead shortly after seeing Zack maniacally banging on Dexter’s door at night. Seems likely that the little psychopath killed her just because he couldn’t stand to wait to kill any longer and Dexter was sidetracked with his Hannah business. Hopefully that means this kid has to go now.
I don’t see any way that the show will end up with Hannah and Dexter living happily together but I really wish it could. Out of all the relationships Dexter has had — including Rita — it seems like she’s the only one who “gets” him and is capable of loving him the way he needs.
There’s no way Hannah won’t end up eating it in the next couple of episodes, possibly at the hands of Deb, but wouldn’t it be nice if these two could just get away and have adorable likely psychopathic babies?
Either way, Zack Hamilton has to go and hopefully that gets wrapped up sooner than later. He’s creepy and not “so good at acting” creepy, just generally a drain whenever he’s on screen. Make it stop.
This episode gets three topless daughters from me. Like the Hannah, hate the Zack, pour one out for Cassie.