It’s easy to lower your standards after have a few too many frat sodas, but there aren’t enough Schlitzes in the world to making fingering a beer bottle okay.
Budweiser may have included “the claw” as a carrying method for beer in their Super Bowl commercial, but there’s no excuse have your finger stuck in a bottle. It’s not as if this guy was cleaning up a bunch of empties; that’s a two-thirds full 40 that he just fingerblasted. I think we can all sympathize with his sense of panic, but his buddy offering to spit on it seems disingenuous. It’s not like that time in A Christmas Story when Flick got his tongue stuck to a frozen pole and Ralphie had to pee on it to free him. If he wanted to use natural lube he could have spit on it all by himself.
I was hoping it would end with him freeing himself by breaking the bottle over his friend’s head, but sadly it was not meant to be.