Golden Corral is a 0-star Michelin rated family dining experience available in 80% of the country. Their commercials highlight some of the amazing innovations coming out of their drop-out staffed kitchens.
While NASA is off playing with red rocks, the folks of Golden Corral are busy inventing some of the most important food products the world will ever know. The new bacon basket is 100% Meat Wizard approved, and who doesn’t want to play in a meatball pit? It’s a carnivorous pedophile’s dream! Beyond that, every politician from Ross Perot to Sarah Palin has endorsed gravy-boarding. Since implemented in the test kitchen in Omaha, an astonishing 95% of the remaining at-large terrorists from the old Iraqi card deck have turned themselves in for questioning.
Sure, good old GC is why we’re a nation of fat fucks, but sometimes you have to let your stomach lead the way. Who needs arteries anyways? Terrorists, that’s who.