Guy didn’t want to fart in front of his new girlfriend—so he did this instead

This dude scored a new girl, had to spend the night at her place. But dude had a serious, serious farting issue. Like one of those you have to see a doctor for. He somehow held it in for the entire night—then the next morning, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

Is is possible to smell a fart through a computer? Because I’m pretty sure I did. And I’m pretty sure this bro’s colon isn’t fully functional. Like, I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but you only have like 6 months to live. Sorry man, the human body simply can’t contain that much methane.

Also, you shat yourself. You know you did. You know a few little turds made it through. Try explaining that one to your girl.