Highlights from Nintendo’s perplexing pre-E3 presentation

by 7 years ago

Taking a page out of Konami’s book, somewhat, Nintendo decided to hold a mini, pre-E3 presentation online last night. It was either fascinating, pointless, hilarious, or insulting, depending on your point of view.


The 30 minute long presentation centered entirely on the Wii U. Just the hardware, plus some of the OS, and no games. That is being held back for the official E3 showing, tomorrow afternoon. But there was still much to talk about, right? Eh.

Things kicked off with Nintendo’s big boss, Satoru Iwata, detailing his company’s mantra: “creating something unique”. He then explained how, when hearing what they have in store later this week, people may go “well, that certainly is unique.”

And he hopes that it’s unique “in a good way”. Clearly, they are bracing for the worst.

Afterwards was a long-winded dissertation on how families these days are becoming disconnected, due to everyone burying their faces into portable devices. And how Nintendo seeks to create more shared experiences, fun for the whole family. Sure. Whatever.

The key to this is the Nintendo Network. Great, social networking being shoved down everyone’s throats yet again, by someone super late to the party no less. Best part is how it doesn’t appear to bring anything new to the table. You’d think they’d have figured something out, after all this time.

The Miiverse, as it’s called, will be baked into every game, and allows people to leave annotations, and the end result is an awful like a Twitter stream. Which sounds pretty annoying, but at least that can be controlled.

Only one game was demonstrated, the previously announced New Super Mario Bros, which was shown for literally ten seconds and never directly talked about. But trust Nintendo diehards to have a detailed analysis in video form, just a few hours after the fact…

New features have been added to the Wii U’s tablet remote, include the ability to control your TV and cable channels, and that’s somewhat neat. One can also surf the web on the tiny screen, and then shoot it onto the big screen.

They used a picture of a parrot as an example. Most folks will be doing it with porn. Oh, and there’s going to be a traditional controller, one that looks exactly like the Xbox 360 controller, plus the system will also come in black apparently.

And that’s honestly it, other than Nintendo’s goals of creating games that generate “more smiles” and “more empathy”, whatever the hell that is. But seriously, that’s nice and all, but making games (and encouraging third parties) is what will sell the Wii U, not the promise of making the place a better place to live.

Nintendo had better score a home run on Tuesday, because all the other Nintendo diehards that I know… the ones with half a brain, that is… have also lost patience and are nowhere near interested in yet another Nintendo console filled with empty promises.

But regardless, it’ll still do well, because the diehards who are happily drink the kool-aid is what will continue to keep the company going, as usual. Hey, they’re at least good for a few laughs, like this one…

TAGSE3e3 2012GamingMiiverseNintendoSuper MarioTwitterVideo gameswii u