What would you do to get out of a dentist appointment? Bet it wasn’t as crazy as this 12-year-old’s story.

I hate the dentist. You hate the dentist. Everyone hates the dentist. It’s the single worst thing we have to do as humans. A 12-year-old boy in France didn’t want to go to the dentist, he didn’t want to get poked and prodded, treated like a voodoo doll—so he faked his own kidnapping like a goddamn hero.

The details of the story are kind of wild so brace yourself for some serious theatrics. Basically our hero is super-duper creative, concocted a villain with a scar on his face.

It was only by luck that the boy said he managed to escape when the vehicle stopped in St. Gervais.

He described the man as European-looking in his 30s, with a muscular build, standing 5-feet-7-inches tall, and with a vertical scar on his right cheek.

He further provided a description of the car the man had been driving and the clothes he was wearing.

For a month the boy appeared to have gotten away scot-free, until officers called him in for questioning once more — after reviewing security footage in Bagnols.

And then, after a one-month investigation, the boy finally fessed up. Little dude held out for 30 straight days. What a champ man. I’m not sure what his end game was with regards to the dentist, but whatever. I want to adopt him. I don’t care that he’s French and probably surrenders to the nearest white flag. I want him as my mini-me.