It's true that a lot of personal happiness comes from within, but there are some places that can break the will of even the happiest person. Let's thank our lucky f'in stars we aren't in them with a list of those very places. What's your least favorite place on the planet?
Photo Credit: Wolkenkratzer, Flickr
Everyone here is depressed because they’re about to get on a public bus. Buses in general aren't fun, unless you're in this bus , this bus, this bus, or most importantly: this bus. But you probably won't end up in any of those. It's more likely that you'll be sandwiched between a fat man with a thin mustache and a lady who is having an oddly robust conversation with herself.
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Most of the time we don't even want to drive; we just want to be wherever we're trying to get to. So going to a public, government-run place where you have to pay for and have unfriendly administrative people analyze the legality of every bit of your car and your right to drive it is an enormous pain in the ass. Thing # 62 we'd all rather do than going to the DMV: gouge our eyes out with a rusty grapefruit spoon.
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No one wants to be waiting for the thing they're there for in the first place, and that makes waiting all the more horrible. The magazines are outdated, the daytime talk shows are terrible, the receptionists treat you like a number and when you're finally done waiting, all you do is move to another room where you wait some more.
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An evil necessity, the port-a-potty serves us when public restrooms are out of range. And while the public restroom is no picnic, the port-a-potty is way worse. They're used by sweaty, dirty festival-folk who have been eating deep-fried fat all day and will not hesitate to corrupt the inside with the black stench of death. Not only that, but there never seems to be any toilet paper and the hand sanitizer doesn’t ever seem to do anything but spread around the aftermath of your "transaction" with the toilet.
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Okay, I know that Six Flags is the happiest place on earth for about 6 minutes and 43 seconds (about the length of time spanning 5 different roller coasters rides) out of your $200, 9 hour day, but I'm talking about the other parts in between. Six Flags, where the only thing more epic than the roller coasters are the lines to get on them.
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All we want to do is be somewhere and here we are waiting in this loud, crowded, uncomfortable, expensive "fuck you" to everyone who steps foot in it. I have some questions, airport:
Why aren't there enough electrical outlets for everyone?
Why do we have to put more effort into unraveling the WiFi situation than every other aspect of our trip combined?
Why does it seem like everyone is being corralled like farm animals?
Why do flights seem to be delayed more than they aren't?
Okay, I should probably calm down before I burst a blood vessel in my forehead...
Photo Credit: David McKelvey, Flickr
Even if the dental hygienist is cute (she usually is) and you get to take home a free toothbrush (woo!), the dentist's office is one of the most dreaded places on planet (and maybe also Middle) Earth. Who wants to have all their teeth and gums scratched up mercilessly with arcane metal tools and their mouth flushed out with god-awful tasting slurries of fluoride nonsense? No one. Please leave us to our mild gingivitis and tooth decay in peace.
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97% of people’s inner thoughts while on a subway:
What is that smell?
Who’s touching me?
What is that smell?!?!
Who’s touching me?!?!
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It sounds like washing machines, it smells like a mix of dirty clothing and cleaning chemicals and the people (who would never step foot in a laundromat if they had access to washing machine) are depressed as hell. It's a soul-less chore that makes sure you waste just enough time not to be able to do anything else for the entire afternoon.
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