Man caught having sex with couch banned from watching porn for life

by 6 years ago

Gerard Streator made sweet love to a couch. And now he’s never going to get to watch porn again as a result of his furniture lust.

sexy couch

Sexy couch image by Shutterstock


A man was out for a jog late at night in Wisconsin last fall when he came across Streator making out with…something.

“I saw a subject leaning over the couch facing down, and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone,” Ryan Edwards told police. “I could see the male’s hips thrusting up and down on the couch.”

Edwards confronted Streator only to find that he wasn’t in the act of love with a person, but rather the couch itself.

He claimed he saw Streator attempting to get off by humping the area in between the cushions.

The court’s ruling dictates that Streator serve five months in jail, serve a year’s probation, pay $243 in court costs, “maintain absolute sobriety,” and — best of all — he’s barred from possessing pornography of any kind.

Seems like a stiff punishment for such a soft crime.

Either way, the real lesson here is that when you’re having sex with a couch, there are no winners. And you’re practically begging for rug burn on your helmet. I can’t support it in good conscience.


TAGSCouchesCreepsCrimeGerard StreatorNewsWTF