NHL beer tower is a great way to waste money

by 7 years ago

The Stanley Cup Playoffs are about to start, but are you ready? If you don’t want to have to keep running to the fridge for more Molsons, I’ve got just the thing for you. It’s an NHL beer tower!


Feeling parched while cheering on your squad? Quench your thirst with this NHL® Drink Tube beverage tower from Mustang Drinkware®. It features a durable construction, boasts a 100-oz capacity, and is decorated with vibrant team graphics. An easy-to-operate spout is also included.

OK, so technically it’s a drink tube not a beer tower, but be honest here. What else are you going to put in that thing besides soon to be warm beer? Assuming yours is one of the 9 teams available, you can support them by paying the completely reasonable price of $329.99 for this piece of drinking parephenalia. Don’t mind the fact that the tower itself can be bought for $33 on Amazon. That mini helmet and the decals are well worth another $297.

By the time your “drinking tube beverage tower” arrives in 2-3 weeks, your team will already be out of the playoffs be well on their way to claiming the Stanley Cup, and that’s exactly when you’ll want 100 ounces of beer the most. Without it, you’ll find yourself sober as the puck drops at 10:30 EDT  on a Wednesday. This is really a must have for anyone who calls themselves a hockey fan.

In case my sarcasm got lost in the vast sea that is the internet, I think this is a stupid idea. If you want something that’s actually awesome for watching hockey games, get The Goal Light. It’s a perfect way to celebrate the Wings, or whatever loser you follow, scoring and piss off your neighbors at the same time.


Via NHL.com

TAGSHow to Spend ItSplash the CashStanley Cup Playoffs