Browse any home photo album or online Facebook profile, and it’s pretty easy to spot the douchebags since they stick out like an overly tanned thumb. Here are seven of the most annoying photo poses that are a dead giveaway that someone is a douchebag.
Photo credit: rollenran, Flickr
7 Lifting the Shirt to Show the Abs
I know you think you’re telling the world that you’ve got a killer bod by nonchalantly lifting up that stupid shirt that’s obstructing the view of your abs, but really all you’re telling me is that you have a small penis. Because only a dude who is seriously overcompensating for something would feel the need to give the world the gift of his abs every time someone pulls out the camera.
And don’t try to work around the whole issue by just taking the shirt off, either. Camera or not, if you’re constantly looking for an excuse to flash the abs, you’re a grade-A royal retard.
Flexing is the lame cousin of the shirt raise and, unless you’re a professional wrestler, should be avoided at costs. Again, if you feel the need to constantly show the world how strong you are, then you’re overcompensating for something.
5 The Shirt Grab
Douches without abs need a different way to show everyone how stupid they are. As such, instead of being proud of their body, they’re proud of whatever is written on the shirt they’re wearing. Whether a brand of clothing, a sports team or hometown, the fact remains: pinching your shirt from the corners to show it off is a pretty ridiculous photo pose.
4 Giving the Middle Finger
The middle finger is the gang sign of douchebags. For some reason, the d-bags of the world think that throwing up the universal sign for “Fuck you” will make them look like a badass. Unfortunately, all there doing is diluting the meaning and offensiveness of one of the world’s most cherished gestures. Fellas, there’s a time and a place for the middle finger (namely, the 101 freeway during rush hour), and an impromptu photo sesh with your buds isn’t it.
3 Rabbit Ears
A popular pose among kids and corny uncles everywhere, the classic rabbit ears is a photo pose that is long past its expiration date. Do people who still apply this worn-out maneuver actually think that they’re being original? And do they really think they’re pulling a funny gag on their friend by making them look “foolish?” Well, newsflash mister class clown: when you pull this pose, YOU’RE the one that looks stupid. Unless your friend is actually a rabbit in which case you, sir, are also a racist.
2 Group of People All Looking Off in Different Directions
This is the go-to group pose for indie bands. Somehow, for some reason, everyone in the photo just happens to be looking off in different directions. I know, it’s supposed to look artistic and clever, but really, it just looks completely corny and staged. Plus, it’s been done so much by now, that the whole idea has become a cliché.
1 The Duck Face
Here it is, the number one most idiotic thing someone can do in a photo. The dreaded duck face is a photo pose most commonly dished by female d-bags, but men have been known to flash this half-kiss/half-smirk abortion as well. Often accompanied by an equally lame peace sign for some reason, this little facial expression is about as stupid as it gets.
I’m not sure how the duck face became such a popular photo pose, but it NEEDS TO STOP NOW! Why anyone would willingly want their face to be documented in such a ridiculous and grotesque pose is completely beyond me. The female waterfowl look is best saved for when Daffy Duck is crossdressing to deceive Elmer Fudd.