Stripper’s attempt at performance art ends in an arrest

Performance art is an overbroad concept that can include many types of activities. But one Florida city isn’t taking the bait after arresting one woman in the middle of a street.

Broward County Sheriff’s Office

According to police, Arlene Mena was intoxicated in the middle of the road in Florida’s Hallandale Beach area when they started to receive complaints from locals.

The police report alleges that Mena threw a traffic cone at one driver, then spat at his face when he stepped out of his car to confront her.

Mena then scratched another man’s wrist as he and the driver attempted to get Mena out of the busy road.

Upon being restrained, Mena told the two men that the incident was part of a prank television show. When they didn’t buy it, she then told them she was a federal agent. But when that didn’t work, she told all of the onlookers that she was friends with the mayor and that they’d all be in deep trouble for the indignities being suffered by her.

During a court appearance on Thursday, Mena told the judge that she’s been working as a stripper for a couple of weeks but that her roadside show was part of an elaborate piece of performance art.

The judge must not have been an art fan, ordering a $1,000 bond for charges of battery and criminal mischief.

Maybe I just have a soft spot for drunk strippers who moonlight as federal agents and are chasing their dreams as the star of a prank television show while working hard to maintain their friendship with the mayor, but I see that mugshot up there and I really want to believe Arlene. At least until she spits in my face and threatens me with a traffic cone, swinging it like a caveman might an oversized club.