I've said it before and I'll say it again; women are complicated. Us guys are cool with a woman's personality just as long as it has boobs, but women want so much more. And whether they're able to express it or not, there are certain things that every woman wants to see in you.
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You don't have to be BASE jumping off water towers or swash buckling on the high seas to woo the ladies; just have fun stuff planned from time to time and let yourself go with the flow if something exciting comes up. Involve her in things she might not ordinarily do and be willing to do some things that are out of your comfort zone too.
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There's a fine line between being a huge sopping wet pussy and being a cold, heartless villain. Alright, maybe it's not that fine a line. Still, the ladies like to see that you can empathize and connect with them, not just do and say things because they seem appropriate. Figure out who she is and show her you understand her and the things that are important to her.
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If you're an amazing guy and your lady is head over heels in love with you, that's great. But, if she finds out that you have no female friends or your longest relationship only lasted a month or you've had far less sexual partners than she has, no matter how she felt about you before this revelation, she's going to have some serious concerns.
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Are you the man with the plan? Let's hope so, because although plenty of ladies like to take control (at least sometimes) many will rely on you to do things like pick the restaurant or choose the vacation. Showing that you're unsure when making everyday decisions is a sure way to let her down.
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You don't necessarily need to be climbing the corporate ladder at breakneck speed to show that you have ambition. She just wants to see that you have your own interests, plans that you follow through with and skills that you can hone. Oh, and that you make enough money to take her out once in a while.
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Whether it's sexual, sensual, or flirtation: chemistry is something women want to feel happening. We may not fully understand notions of things just "clicking" or it just "feeling right" in the way that they do, but you can count on one thing: even if all the pieces are in place and she's found loads of great qualities she's always looked for, if there isn't chemistry there to glue those pieces together, she'll feel that something is off.
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This is an obvious one, but I need to mention it because otherwise I'll be getting a shitload of anonymous hate-posts and death threats: being confident matters. It's about having a deep inner sense of self worth that allows you to make decisions and live a life that more closely resembles your own wants and needs than the average person. You can't expect a woman to be confident in you and your relationship with her if you aren't confident about yourself. So if you have to, go ahead and fake it til you make it, but don't ever overcompensate.
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(Previously published on October 17, 2011.)