Urban Dictionary is full of some of the most ridiculous and insane terms you’ve ever heard – especially in terms of sex.
You just know somewhere in the world a couple of bros have gotten drunk and tried these.
Maybe on a girl or maybe on each other, but you know they’ve been attempted. A Reddit thread asked users to submit their favorite definitions from Urban Dictionary and to say they’re shocking and hilarious is an understatement.
Peas and corn mixed together in a bowl.
Eating a large amount of colorful breakfast cereal (fruit loops, fruity pebbles, etc.) and then regurgitating it onto a partner’s chest.
The Houdini is: doggy style in a room with two doors or a door / window. While screwing hard, push face into pillow. Motion to hidden friend to get ready to take over. Slip out, the slips in, keeps screwing her.
You slip out the back, run around to the window / door facing the girl, bro #2 pulls her face up by the hair as you jump through the window / door and scream “ta da!”
The sexual act known as the Iron Horse is one for the brave. You require the following: – A naked Man – A naked Woman – A bed with a headboard / bars – A decently long hallway – A helmet
Steps to completion: The naked man starts at the far end of the decently long hallway, hopefully already fairly excited. The naked woman positions herself on the bed grabbing onto the headboard / bars, on her hands and knees in the doggy-style position. She must also have put on the helmet, and is preferably already somewhat excited. Now, the man at the end of the decently long hallway should begin running down the hallway towards his waiting woman on the bed. At distance (male’s judgment), the male jumps into the air screaming “Iron Horse” while attempting to land his wood into the waiting woman’s vaginal cavity.
Upon a successful completion of this act, the male has indeed landed his wood into the female’s vaginal cavity and the female’s head has been punched through the headboard as well as the wall behind the bed(should there be a wall there).
Wake your partner up by inserting your harry balls in her mouth and you’ll hear the sound of a wookiee.
Taking a shit on someone’s laptop and closing the screen
A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!
This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.
When you have just finished having sex, you make sure your naked partner is at the end of the bed near your feet. Then yell “This is Sparta!” and kick her off the bed.
This is a special treat native to Portland, Oregon.
This is best done on a fat girl you can trick into anal play. The great thing about the Portland pull-start is that all you need is a fat girl and some butt beads. The larger the beads, the larger the fun. Get her on all fours and get behind her. Insert all the beads very, very gently while playing with her fat vagina. Now place your left hand on the middle of her fat back while still holding onto the butt beads with your right and PULL START that bitch!! If you are wondering ‘Why the fat girl?’ It’s so you can get away.
San Francisco Bird Feeder
To suck your own or another’s semen out of a person’s butt and then spit it into their mouth. Like a mother bird feeding her young.
The act of covertly sniffing a finger that has been inserted into a woman’s vagina while making out for the purpose of determining if it is safe to proceed to oral sex.
The condition of having gas that leaves your anus wet and having to wipe after every fart.
When you are having vaginal intercourse with a girl in the standing doggy position with her leaning against a wall, the penis is removed and thrust into her anal orifice, thus causing her to attempt to “run” up the wall like a gecko.