Translation of Tiger Woods Statement

by 9 years ago

Editor’s Note: This was too good not to certify.

[inline:cert]I got women in the ‘burbs, Women in the the hood. Yeah my wifey mad ’cause she knows I’m no good. Man I’m just a dog, I’d be faithful if I could, But I’m Tiger Woods. Yeah, I’m Tiger Woods.

I need help ’cause I know I got a problem, Every bad b*tch I come across I think I want ’em. Look at how I roll when I see ’em then I’m on ’em, Drunk full of liquor and a pocket full of condoms. Lord I can’t lie I’m a dog, I’m a cheater, Babymomma gone ’cause I ain’t know how’ta treat her. Shout out to Na’isha, Shout out to Latisha, Shout out to my shorty with that little white Bimmer. Feeling like a king, Got women that’ll treat me. I be going hard, Got a dime down in D.C.

Yeah my wifey home And I’m wrong for what I’m doing yo I be out creepin/lying, Said I’m in the studio.

Yah, I got a str*pper named Bird in Miami, Got a little model that I see when I’m in Cali. I be running down on them R&B broads, Cop chick, let me f*ck her in her uniform. Now tell me if I’m wrong ‘Cause I be chasing coochie, I be into girls that’s into eating coochie. Shorty had me going, Had me open off her coochie, Going to her projects, Buying her Gucci. My girl probably know ’cause I ain’t ever home, I could never let her find what’s in my cameraphone. Got picture of Sh’wan, Tiffany, and all’em, Pictures of the twins, I was humpin’ both’em.

I got women in the ‘burbs, Women out the country, Women that I hurt, I’m sorry I know you love me. I could feel your pain, Please accept my apologies. The ones that ever Been pregnant by me, Nah Baby, not me, Not the one you settle down with, I’m the type that call up your friend And mess around with. This is who I am, This is how I love, Still trying to find a place To swing my golf club. “