The BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index Gets Sporty

by 9 years ago

The BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index returns this week with some new faces to keep you warm during the winter. Once again to refresh the readers, in order to make our index, the celebrity, athlete, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. Just because you’re hot isn’t enough. You need to be in the news.


5. Kaley Cuoco

“The Big Bang Theory” is an under-the-radar dynamite sitcom that is finally gaining national attention. Why is that? Kaley Cuoco brings some serious girl-next-door heat and she’s all over this month’s Maxim. Any ill will you hold against her for dating a nerd on the show goes right out the window within five minutes of her Google Image search. A neurotic Sheldon and shy-unless-drunk Raj can only take a show so far, so it’s nice that Cuoco has decided to unleash herself on the masses to give her fans enough bang for their buck.

4. Alicia Keys & Shakira (tie)

While the NBA has made a major effort to clean up their image in recent years, they don’t seem to have any issue sexing up the half-time show of the All-Star Game. This continues to highlight how embarrassing the Super Bowl half-time show is. It’s hard to pick between Keys and Shakira when they both bring so much for the table and both thoroughly entertained the crowd. You know they rocked the house when the TNT commentators are talking about them instead of the basketball being played.


3. Lindsey Vonn

We touched on her last week, but frankly I’d touch (on) her every week if it was up to me. I’ve got no problem helping her maximize her 15 minutes of fame from the Olympics because we really can only be exposed to Vonn once every four years. She became the first American female to win Olympic Gold in the Women’s Downhill, overcoming a bruised shin in the process. Not only is she hot, but she’s tough, so that gets our approval.


3a. Julia Mancuso

Living the Olympic lifestyle under the shadow of Vonn might be tough for some, but Mancuso has made a name for herself by silver-medaling in both women’s skiing events so far. She also doesn’t look too bad in a bikini if I do say so myself.


2. Blake Lively

It always gets our attention whenever a celebrity considers posing for Playboy. It helps when the individual in question shapes up much better than someone like a plastic surgery queen like Heidi Montag. Rumor is Lively has some push from her people because of the success Playboy has brought other actresses in the past. Blake, just let us know if there’s anything we can do to push you over the edge. If $2.5 million isnt enough, well get some more funds together. I think everyone’s on board with this idea.


1. Elin Woods (Tiger’s Back)

Our favorite philanderer Tiger Woods brought his serious face to the table this morning to apologize — again — to his wife Elin for his multiple transgressions. Frankly I thought it was the biggest canned bullshit apology I’ve ever seen. This was three months too late and Tiger knew very well he had to play it up to the camera. Sure it was part of his rehab process, but c’mon! How can he do this to poor Elin? Frankly I’m not sure why she’s sticking with him when she can pull any dude she wants. Just look at that ass. She should fly up to the Northeast and I’ll cheer her up no problem.

Runners up: Megan Fox (W Magazine) “

TAGSAlicia Keysblakelivelybrobibletop5hottieindexelinwoodshottiesindexjuliamancusokaleycuocolindseyvonn