Porn Star Turned Sex Expert Nina Hartley Dishes on Understanding Women’s Bodies, the Struggling Adul
[inline:nina]When I found out that I had the opportunity to interview adult entertainment celebrity and renowned sex expert, Nina Hartley, I did what any straight man would do and jumped at the opportunity. Not only because this is our first interview with an actual adult entertainment star, but because if anyone knows their way around the bedroom, a man’s junk, and, most importantly, a women’s erogenous zones, it’s Nina.
Nina has been in the adult entertainment industry since her first movie, “Educating Nina,” in 1984. Little did she know that some day she would be the one educating the masses about sex. In the 26 years since her debut, Nina has not only become a sex educator, but also an outspoken ambassador in defending the X-rated film industry and an inductee into the AVN (Adult Video News) Hall of Fame. She’s worked with some of adult entertainment’s biggest names including the load-slinging legend, Peter North. She even gushes in the interview that no one gushes quite like old Peter.
[inline:waff]Nina still performs a few times a month but she also has a new venture, SexWise, which is a private, subscription-based social network led by Nina. It launches at the upcoming SXSW Interactive Panel on March 15 in Austin, Texas. According to Nina, SexWise encourages its members to openly engage in authentic conversations about all aspects of sex and sexuality; the secure online setting allows users to communicate their needs, questions, desires and issues without judgment.
Waffles McButter: I could be mistaken, but I would say that all men want to be superstars in the sack. Being a sex expert, can you give us some sure fire ways to rev a chick’s engine?
Nina Hartley: Learn how to kiss. Learn to slow down. Learn how to give a proper foot/shoulder rub. Learn how to listen. Learn how to pull hair. Learn about girl parts and how they work. Learn to surf your pleasure so you can last for 20 minutes of passionate intercourse. Handle your shit and help her handle hers. Learn to make one decent breakfast and one decent dinner. But the most important thing any one can bring to a sexual encounter is an open mind and desire to please and be pleased. Sex is adult play and it’s helpful to have that frame of mind in place before you get down. Be as open minded as you can. Don’t freak out if she has toys: they’re your friends. Don’t expect her to act like an adult performer but don’t be judgmental if she does.
[inline:learn]Some guys who read our site have been outspoken about how they abhor the idea of going down on a girl. From a professional perspective; do you think it is an essential skill for a man to master?
Uh, duh. One must give some to get some. Learn to love p*ssy and it will love you and welcome you back often. If she’s clean and manicured, only a fool wouldn’t want to learn all he can about women’s tender bits, so he can have all the quality sex he could ever want, from quality partners, instead of his having to lure one poor, unsuspecting drunk chick after another back to his place for a series of meaningless one-night stands. After 10 years it gets lonely and boring. If a man’s so reluctant to eat p*ssy, why would he want to f*ck one? Better to jerk off and not risk knocking her up. If a man finds my p*ssy so abhorrent, why on earth would I want to f*ck him? So few women don’t like getting head that there’s no excuse for not learning how.
Relationships can get boring and stale, especially when it comes to sex. What would your advice be to a guy stuck in a sexually monotonous relationship? Cheat?
As someone who prefers a lot of partners, I understand that monogamy is a challenging relationship style. If you can’t/won’t/don’t offer monogamy, don’t pretend that you do in order to get laid. You may get fewer partners but you won’t have to lie and you might even get some threesomes out of it. If you’re in a relationship and want to cheat, that’s a sign that you need to address the issues in the relationship, even if it means you’re the “bad guy” and need to breakup with her.
Better to be an honest a**hole than a lying a**hole or a cowardly lying a**hole. I’m a big believer in hiring professionals to get some strange on the side: they always use safer sex techniques, you can pick the one you want, they won’t call you, and, best of all, they don’t want YOU, just your money. Civilians want your time, your energy, your romance, your heart on a platter. They’ll call you at work or at home and you’ll always be looking over your shoulder and wondering when your girlfriend is going to meet you at the door with a frying pan or a gun in her hand, wanting to know who the hell Cindy is.
If you must cheat, be smart and use professionals. It’s the difference between having your buddy work on your car vs. a trained mechanic.
I am sure you have been asked this very question over a thousand times but I have to ask it once more, does size matter or can a guy with a golf pencil for a pen*s satisfy a woman’s sexual desires?
[inline:inches]Well, pencil-dicked guys get more anal and deep throat, so there is some benefit. Size does matter: if it’s too big, we’re not f*cking. All the more reason to learn how to use your brain, mouth, hands, and toys: Skill in those areas will leave her panting and gasping for breath between org*sms. The use of thigh harnesses for d*ldos of various sizes, or a special male-version strap-on harness lets him f*ck her with any size dick he or she wants, with the added pleasure of there being no risk of disease or pregnancy.
When I’m with women, I use two, maybe three, fingers and my mouth, and I have them moaning and c*mming easily. How? Because I know what the f*ck I’m doing, is how. How do I know? I practice, of course, but I also educated myself about how women work. Why? Because I like to make women c*m and I wasn’t going to let any BS about “pride” get in my way. You want women to c*m from what you do, learn what you can.
I’ve f*cked guys with dicks from 3″ to 12″ long. My favorites are between 5″-7″. I’d rather have a well-handled 5-incher than a clumsy 8-incher or more, hands down.
We have a strong following of female readers, do you have any tips for them on how to better satisfy a man or at the very least give a less toothy blow job?
Start with sticking to having sex with sober women, who won’t be too wasted to cover their teeth with their lips. Also, don’t face-f*ck her too forcefully until you know her level of skill, or you’ll scrape yourself against her molars despite her best efforts to the contrary. Worse, you may make her puke, which puts an end to the festivities.
[inline:dvd]The same notion applies as with [the question earlier about going down on her]: to give good head a person must love the notion of cock/p*ssy in general, and then transfer that appreciation to the cock/p*ssy at hand. If they love cock, yours will be able to tell and will love them back. A good cocksucker needs to know all about boy parts, how they work and where they’re located. Don’t neglect the balls and the bulb of the cock (between his balls and his ass).
The guy can help by being clean, trimmed, and not drunk or high. Nothing is more annoying than trying to give head to a drunk or high guy. Yawn. We’ll make you a deal: we won’t try to stick something in your butt if you’ll return the favor.
I have come across a number of your movies, some that even look rather new. Are you still making films or have you fully transitioned into a life after adult entertainmentography?
While SexWise is my venture for the future, I still enjoy very much making two or three movies a month. I do a weekly explicit show on my adult site, Nina.com, and like that a lot, too. I love performing sex as much as I like teaching and talking about it. It’s just my favorite subject, bar none.
How did you get into the business and how do you think it has changed since you started?
That’s a big question. I started as a student/str*pper before making my first video in 1984. I graduated nursing school, magna c*m laude, in 1985 and have been a full-time entertainer/educator ever since.
[inline:stolen]The biggest changes in adult entertainment have had to do with its explosive growth during the ’80s, starting with home video. Now, the biggest change/challenge is Internet piracy, which is killing the business as I’ve known it. With the exception of amateur sites, ALL “free” online adult entertainment is STOLEN. Those companies are being squeezed out and can hire me less and less often. I’m being unwillingly retired due to outside forces.
Also the growth in niche adult entertainment: movies about nothing more than one’s fetish of interest: b**bs, feet, butts, heels/hose, interracial, oral, anal, girl/girl, cuckold/small dick humiliation, etc.
I recently read that California is trying to crack down on the use of condoms in the industry. Have you been an advocate for this change or are you with the majority (and most of our readers) who say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”?
I’m in favor of the system we’ve set up at AIM (Adult Medical Healthcare), the clinic talent uses for its testing: current (within 28 days) AIM test combined with external ejaculation. Due to the nature of adult entertainment sex as opposed to civilian sex, condoms make our job harder and put us at greater risk. If a performer wants to use condoms, I never penalize them, but I don’t require them to do so. It’s their body and I’m not going to tell them what to do with it.
California is the only state where we’ve won the legal right to make adult entertainment and not get arrested on prostitution/pandering charges. The State of California has no official policy on condom use in adult entertainment and that’s not going to change any time soon. No money for it, nor political will. We pay a lot of taxes and employ thousands of people. There is no other locus of adult entertainment production in the U.S., with the exception of a small cottage industry in Miami, than Los Angeles. We’re in a long-running battle with County Health over mandated condom use (we’re against it), and they’re not finding support in the legal system here.
This doesn’t mean that civilians can dispense with condoms because we do so on camera. Everyone is responsible for their own health and the health of their partners. Until you’re tested, use condoms.
[inline:dvd3]Do you think some girls are put in situations they would rather not be in? Having five dicks put in every available orifice all at the same time doesn’t seem like something most people would enjoy.
Some women may say “yes” to a gig they’re sorry for later, but no woman is forced to do anything she doesn’t want. It’s a job, not a date, and we don’t always like our jobs on a particular day. I counsel them to just say “no” to jobs/activities that they don’t like or wouldn’t do at home for free. This is the entertainment industry, don’t forget, and it’s a brutal world full of people who will take advantage if you’ll let them. But it’s not an illegal industry and anyone who is guilty of actual forcible harm is subject to arrest and prosecution. There are plenty of cops and lawyers here who’d be so happy to be able to arrest a adult entertainmentographer on such charges.
Since it’s a legal business, however, such tactics are not needed since women come to town every day, from all over the country, wanting into the business. There is simply no need to coerce anyone into anything. Just because a woman’s not having a good time at work doesn’t mean she didn’t agree to be there. She can say no next time and never do a thing/person ever again.
I noticed that you’ve worked with Peter North. That guy is touted as a legend in the sack so we have to know, does his reputation precede him or are the men of today putting his work to shame?
If the young Peter North was to enter the business today he’d be a star now. He’s good looking, with a beautiful cock that can go twice a day and no one, not even to this day, has ever come close to matching his amazing ejaculations. None are more theatrical or fantastically unreal as Peter North’s.
There are many great guys working today and a young Peter would be at their level and more than hold his own.
Finally, what is your preferred position and why?
I like Missionary, so we can kiss and I can watch the action. I also like doggie, because it’s easy to touch myself and it’s hot.
Here is more information about the SXSW Interactive Panel on Monday, March 15, in Austin:
Nina Hartley: Porn Star, Sex Educator, Social Networker
With a career spanning over 25 years, Adult film star Nina Hartley has seen it all — from the explosion of VHS to the advent of Internet adult entertainment. In this session, Nina and her social media brain trust, MarKyr Media’s Marjorie Kase and Kyra Reed, will be discussing how the web has been both a blessing and a curse for industry players and how that’s now changing thanks to social networking technology.