Tiger Woods Probably Wishes ‘Tiger Text’ iPhone App Was Invented Months Ago

by 9 years ago

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After a week of family counseling in Arizona and losing his $100 million deal with Gatorade, Tiger Woods is back in Florida practicing his golf game in Florida. Just in time for Tigers’ possible return to the PGA tour, a new iPhone app has hit the market to help straying partners avoid the same domestic debacle as the Masters champion.

Appropriately called Tiger Text, the app stores text messages on its own server, enabling it to self-delete texts from both your inbox and outbox, as well as the inbox and outbox of recipients you’ve messaged. Basically, it’s a paper shredder for your iPhone, or the digital smart phone equivalent to “Mission: Impossible” ‘s famous self-destructing messages, minus the sparks and smoke. Two weeks ago when I interviewed Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman, he claimed that text messages and e-mail are the equivalent of “digital lipstick on the collar.” After all, if it wasn’t for Tiger’s text messages to his mistress, Jaimee Grubbs, we wouldn’t have the juiciest sex scandal in more than a decade. However, there are pitfalls. The app, which costs $2.50 per month, only works with other phones equipped with Tiger Text, which means your sweetheart-on-the-side better have an iPhone.

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For those who prefer to chase their tail over Facebook like this idiot did, there was briefly a service that let you quickly hit the “abort” button on your Facebook profiles, completely wiping you off the Facebook map. The Web 2.0 Suicide Machine basically alloww its users to commit “online suicide” by deleting all traces of your social media account. However, after receiving cease and desist letters from Facebook’s legal counsel, the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine now only functions to delete Twitter accounts, which might be useful if you’ve been trying to discretely DM Brooklyn Decker or your other favorite Twitter-addicted celebrity.

What do you think? Would you actually use Tiger Text to keep your messages away from prying eyes? Sound off in the comments. “


TAGSGolfiphone apptigerwoods