10 Things Every Bro’s Apartment Needs

by 8 years ago

[inline:kegerator]All right, Bros, I know summer seems like a long way off, but it will be here before we know it. Some bros will return home over the summer break and live with parents, but many, like me, will be finding an apartment with some fellow bros and calling it home. Back in December, BroBible had an article on 25 Man-Datory Items for Your Man Cave. Since most of the loyal BroBible readers live in a small apartment with their buddies, here’s a list of 10 things, in no particular order and by no means all inclusive, that every bro should have for their summer pad, that won’t piss off their landlord, and that fit into a college student’s budget.

1. Kegerator

What happens when you go in to your bro’s new place for the first time and there’s a kegerator? You go over and check it out. So does everyone else, bros and chicks alike, to admire and compliment the kegerator. Get a kegerator. Find one on eBay.

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2. Bubble Hockey

Foosball and pool tables are great, but far too common. A bubble hockey table will make your place stand out and keep guests coming back for more. There are also several drinking games that can easily be associated with bubble hockey (goals, puck getting stuck, etc.). The only advantage a pool table has over bubble hockey is that it adds a place to sleep and bang on. However, if any reader has conquered a slam piece on a bubble hockey table, props to you and let us know in the comments. Find one on eBay.

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3. One Poster with a Hot Semi-Nude Girl

The emphasis here is on ONE. Possibly two, if they are spread out. Any more than that and any chicks that come over will think you don’t get any action, are a sc*mbag (which you probably are, but you don’t want them to know that before they have sex with you), or are trying to compensate for the fact that you only hang out with ugly girls. You don’t want any of that. Once the girls start getting a bit tipsy, they’ll admire the girl in the poster and start talking about her body and being sexy. Next thing you know, she’s in your bed. Find one on eBay.

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4. Nice TV with a Good Cable Package

If it comes down to getting a bed frame so you don’t have to sleep on the mattress on the floor, or opting for the premium cable package, take the cable. It’s summer, you can sleep whenever, where ever. Having a place that your bros can come chill and watch the game, and see it on a good screen, is far more important. Also, its 2010: Get a flat-screen with 1080i. Being able to watch the game doesn’t mean much if it isn’t in HD. Find one on Amazon.

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5. Beer Pong Table

Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but something that you can rack cups on and play some BP is a must. Something creative looking will always get you extra points with the ladies, though. Oh, I love that you painted your pong table like a lax fieldcan I suck your cock now? Grab some plywood, some tools, and some paint and make one yourself.

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6. A Girlfriend

Someone’s gotta clean up after you, and it can’t be your mother any more. If you want to enjoy the benefits of single life, I recommend finding a roommate who has a girlfriend. Girls like things clean, so when they come over and want it clean, eventually they’ll start cleaning. Also has an advantage if the girl can cook and you can’t. Find one on Match.com or Craigslist.

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7. Some Sort of Alcohol Advertisement

Get a sign or poster of your favorite drink and put it up on the wall. Let all your guests know that you can throw down and what your drink of choice. If you really want to step up your game, go for the neon sign. And always, always keep a healthy stock of said drink in your fridge or kegerator. Find one eBay.

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8. Framed Picture of the Family

Just set it up on your dresser or something and it’s an instant sign to girls that you have a soft side, or at least aren’t a complete animal. If they think you have a sweet side, they’ll be that much more likely to jump in your bed faster. If you’re uncomfortable having a picture of your mom in the room while you’re hooking up with a random, pictures of your dog will work almost as well. Find one at AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

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9. Pull-Out Couch

You never know when a party may get crazier than expected and guests are now crashing at your place. It’s nice to have a place for them to sleep other than your hardwood floor. While most nights you’ll probably be too drunk to pull the bed out, it’s nice to have. So always remember to pull out, bros. Find one on Craigslist.

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10. A Good DVD Collection

People will check out your movie collection and judge you based on that. Titles like “A Walk to Remember,” “The Notebook,” and “Twilight” will have everyone laughing at you. As bros, I hope none of you own any of those movies. Keep your movie shelf stocked with comedies and action/suspense movies. “The Boondock Saints” and “The Hangover” are must-haves for any bros collection, but here are two other good resources for if you’re looking for more titles.

Hope this helps, Bros. This list isn’t comprehensive, so add your own apartment favorites in the comments. “


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