Five Drinking Tips for Your Next Mexican Bender
[inline:taiajdsi]In the beat of Mexican nightlife, you’re bound to see some shit. After several nights of partying in Guadalajara and Tequila with the ranks of Eric Rogell from TheBachelorGuy.com and Dan Dunn from Playboy.com and TheImbiber.net, I have seen some shit. While those things will follow me to the grave (or to my next weeping, blacked-out tell-all), I did manage to compile a list of five musts to beef up your next Mexican bender.
Salt is so f*cking yesterday. Whether you’re coating the rim of your beach-side margaritas or licking it off a bikini-clad senora pre-body shot, Tajin is the salt of the level-up drinker’s club. This potent little mix is made with chili peppers, lime, and salt, providing a nice spice to kick up your booze and making you look a little cooler in the eyes of bartenders and locals, which, believe me, is never a bad thing.
By some f*cked up glitch in the system, we still have an embargo on Cuba. Castro hasn’t taken a piss by himself since ’05, let alone threaten America, yet we still won’t import Cuba’s finest export. Luckily, Mexico isn’t the U.S. and Cohibas, Montecristos, and other sticks of delicious Cuban tobacco are readily available. So when you’re pre-gaming or have some downtime with the boys, fire up some Cubans over some beers and tequila.
Tell me you’ve never wanted to kick back some booze to the tunes of real mariachis and I’ll tell you I’ve never wanted to pearl necklace a Victoria Secret angel with “The Ride of the Valkyries” blasting at level 11 in the background. It doesn’t matter if you find them on the beach, on the street, or in a bar, just find them. Put in a request for the song “Guadalajara,” sit back and enjoy.
2. Cowgirl Stripper
while you may need to visit The Men’s Club in Guadalajara for this one, I swear to Christ it’s worth it. The only thing grander than the universe being turned upside down by men getting in free while our female cohorts got charged 380 peso covers was the site of this little gem making magic on stage. In an open letter to the Cowgirl Stripper, if you’re out there, I don’t know your name, I don’t know where you’re from, but I love you. In an open letter to the owners of The Men’s Club, f*ck you for not having a champagne room.
If B:oost were a drug, I’d be Hunter S. Thompson. Also known as BOOOOOOOOOOSSSST!!!!, this shit is Red Bull’s bigger, badder, blue-er Mexican cousin and is the perfect fuel for your Mexican bender. It kept me firing at all cylinders despite “considerable” levels of tequila and is actually pretty damn tasty. Mix it with some Cuervo Tradicional or Platino, shoot it as a “Boost-back” (see pickle back), or drink it straight up, you’ll be in good hands. WARNING: May lead to excessive finger pistols, air-microphones, or death.