This 18-Year-Old Got Violent When Paramedics Stopped Him From Having Sex In An Ambulance They Needed To Use
— Grimsby Telegraph (@GrimsbyTel) April 4, 2015
Oh, The Places You’ll Go! is not a book about the adventures you’ll have as a young man just to get some stank on your hang-low, but goddammit, it could be. Because when horny and stupid strikes, you will do anything and go anywhere just to plunge your dick into another human being. Doesn’t matter where that place is, or if EMTs are trying to save a 92-year-old man and you’re fucking your way to a great story in their ambulance, YOU NEED THAT SEX. Plus, that asshole already lived a full life, he shouldn’t be so rude.
That’s exactly what happened to Kyle Hargreaves, an 18-year-old who just wanted to sex his old lady in an ambulance when suddenly the thing needed to be used to save a human life. Rather than saying, “Whoops, guys, my bad. I’ll just leave and we’ll forget this happened, okay?” Kyle opted to get pissed off (classic case of boner rage) and attacked the EMTs.
That’s NOT THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE, KYLE.
According to Grimsby Telegraph
Paramedic Mr Newman asked them what they were doing and told them to get out of the ambulance because the crew needed to get the pensioner to hospital.
Hargreaves asked: “What’s your problem? We are just trying to have sex.”
He stood up and became abusive and threatening to the crew, the court heard.
He punched Mr Newman in the face three times while the pensioner was still in the carry chair and was being protected by an ambulance technician and the patient’s son, who had arrived on the scene.
The panic button on the crew’s radios was used to alert the police, who arrived about 15 minutes later.
The girl who was with Hargreaves bit ambulance technician William Heron on his hand.
Mr Newman suffered a huge black eye, a cut to his nose and a nose bleed.
Your dick is a dangerous thing. Don’t forget that. Or do, because you’ll have better stories that way.
[H/T Grimsby Telegraph]