5 Must-Follow (Unwritten) Rules to Gym Etiquette
No Cell Phones
One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing someone using a cell phone at the gym. Unless your girlfriend, wife, or mistress is having a baby…leave your phone in the car or in your locker. There is nothing worse than waiting for some dickbag to get off the phone with one of his “boys” so that you can use the squat rack that he was using to do jumping jacks in anyway. No one gives a shit that you just “threw chrome spinners on the Honda Civic son!” It looks dumb and your time would be better invested on making your shoulders fill out that ridiculous Ed Hardy T-shirt that you wear to the gym.
No Wife-Beater Tops
Throw in a spaghetti stain and your mug shot and it’ll look like you belong on a “Most Wanted” poster. Granted it won’t be for whacking your underboss, but rather scaring everyone at the gym into thinking you’re in the mob. Do yourself a favor, Gino, and hit up Sports Authority. I am sure they have tank tops that’ll make you look more like an athlete and less like a serial killer.
No Fingerless Gloves
“It’s like shorts, but for my fingers.” Unless you’re a hand model for Dove soap, you shouldn’t be wearing gloves. One thing that comes with the territory of lifting weights is calluses. These are the marks of a true gym warrior. Embrace them, don’t fear them. You should have calluses so thick that you don’t need a spatula to flip your pancakes in the morning. If you think wearing gloves looks badass, think again. You’re one jean tuxedo and a pair of sunglasses away from looking like George Michaels.
Use a Towel
My hopes are that you are sweating enough where you have to wipe your forehead. It shows that you’re working hard and crushing your workout. Good for you. Just don’t be that guy that pulls his shirt up ever so discretely (note the sarcasm) to “wipe his brow” in hopes that a 42-year-old cougar is checking out his abs. Though that cougar may like this, the other dudes trying to get their lift on are probably planning the most opportune time to fling a 10-pound weight off your head. Most gyms carry towels to prevent everything from ass-sweat on the incline benches to idiots that want to use their shirt as a towel… so use them. It’ll save you the trip to the emergency room.
Two is a Couple… Three is a Disaster
Having one workout partner is great, especially one that is as dedicated to their goals as you are to yours. Two gym partners is a disaster waiting to happen. Unless you have the gym to yourself, it will do nothing but prolong your rest times in between sets, because you shoot the shit about nothing and inevitably the one day that one of the three can’t make it, the whole workout rotation gets all discombobulated. “Sorry Gary, but the tribe has voted… and you’re ass is out of the group. Plus, we heard the guy with the fingerless gloves needs a workout partner.”
What Are Your Rules?
Narrowing that list down to five was tremendously difficult. We’re sure you have your own “unwritten rules” of the gym. So Sound Off in the comments with your own unwritten rules.