Should a Bro Date a MILF with a Two Year Old?
[inline:askabro]This is the latest installment of Ask A Bro with Waffles McButter. Got a question of your own for Waffles? Email email@example.com. You can also now follow Waffles on Twitter or be his friend on Facebook.
I recently started seeing this pretty sexy chick. I like her a lot, but there is one drawback: She has a two-year-old kid. I am 24 years old and I don’t know whether to continue on or break it off before it gets serious.
I have thought about this for over an hour and it is literally tearing me apart that I can’t find a loophole as to how abortion would still be plausible. Every time I think I have a viable solution, all signs wind up pointing to homicide and the subsequent life sentence or execution that would be attached. So that sucks.
[inline:santa]Since I cannot think of a humane way for you to rid yourself of her excess baggage, I can only offer one option for a man of your age and in your shoes: Run, motherf*cker. Break the speed of sound for all I care, just get the f*ck out of there before it’s too late. Harness your inner Jackie Joyner Kersey and hit speeds so fast that time travel is conceivable. Wait, that’s it! Time travel is the answer to our abortion dilemma. You see what happens when you drink while you write? Outside-the-box thinking.
The fact remains that you’re only 24 years old and you have no business changing diapers when you probably haven’t mastered the art of wiping your own ass yet — as evidence by every pair of white boxer briefs you own. Enjoy your twenties. These years are meant for debauchery, belligerence, and sexual trysts with random dames. But, more so than any of that, when you look back at these years, the only regrets you want to have should come in the form of incurable STDs that you have amassed and not all the time you squandered stuffing Gerber down some rug rat’s throat.
I know you may really dig this chick and you might not want to end the relationship, but do something most of us don’t ever do and look to the future. Are you really ready to give up your freedom and stand in as some two-year-old’s daddy or do you still long to get so blasted every weekend that you yourself turn into a bed-wetting toddler? If you can’t answer that question, ask your dick for advice, he always knows what’s best for you.