Why Taylor Swift Will Get You Laid

by 9 years ago

[inline:taylorswift]If there is one thing that all babes can agree on, it is that Taylor Swift is the shit. Whether the girl is a blond bombshell from Florida State with a passion for rod, or a crunchy granola chick from Bates who drinks Bud heavy, there is a general agreement among the lady folk that Taylor Swift excites the senses. Between her angelic looks, incandescent vibes, and the fact that she always seems to be looking straight into the sun, Taylor Swift has got it going on. It is not necessarily Taylor’s sexy looks that drive girls up a tree and down your pants, all at the same time, but more the secret ingredients living among her songs. Chicks enjoy two things: dancing and romantic comedies. It must be the clashing of the two worlds within each girl the minute the first few notes are released from the speakers. Taylor Swift combines these two things into each one of her songs, sending girls’ bodies into orbit. Each song has lyrics that will stir their emotions, and a beat to go along with it that will keep their hymen asking for more.

Why do we care? Because Taylor Swift will get you laid.

Taylor Swift activates a chemical within the female vessel that is overwhelming. Bros, this is your time to take advantage of this sexual separation anxiety. Once you have had a night of rage-hem, head back to your abode with a few buddies and a couple female tagalongs. Everyone is bamboozled to the point of no return, so no matter what music you put on, no one will really care that much. However, if you throw on some T. Swift noise, girls’ minds instantly go from six to twelve. The lion in them is released and they quickly realize they want some pole … immediately. Now the bro steps into her thoughts and alleviates this built-up passion. The minute a chick hears Taylor Swift, they begin to dream about the lyrics possibly becoming a reality. The female is unsure of how to deal with these sensations, and the only remedy they know of is the guys around them. It’s like a virtual trap, but a trap legal in all 50 states. So next time you are looking to slay that bid that only puts out on occasion, attempt to swiftly swoop her off her feet with some Swift. See what happens.

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