Wake the F*ck Up Coffee Aims to Wake You the F*ck Up

by 9 years ago

[inline:wake]Sometimes when I’m extra groggy, hung over, or trying to come out of a Xanax-induced coma, regular coffee just doesn’t cut it. On those days — which seem to occur more often than not — I need a coffee that is going to mule kick me square in the face, a cup of Joe that is going to shake me with the fury and thoughtlessness of an enraged babysitter, a hearty brew that will literally wake me the f*ck up. And that, my friends, is where Wake the Fuck Up! coffee comes into play.

[inline:waff]Since I am and avid coffee drinker (I’d take it intravenously if possible), naturally I was the man for the job when the folks over at WTFU contacted us about trying their brew. I’ll admit I was a bit apprehensive at first because most coffees that are revered for their strength also taste like gasoline and, in some instances (like my office coffee), feces. But once I was able to tear open the pouch of ground coffee (they seal it exceptionally) all my worries vanished as I inhaled that delicious Wake the Fuck Up aroma. Its delightful odor swirled up my nostrils and into my nasal cavity. The scent passed through a thick layer of mucous until it finally reached the olfactory bulband, and there, it told my brain that Wake the Fuck Up coffee was actually a quality coffee and not the bio-diesel that I suspected it to be.

After my sniff test and snorting several lines of coffee grounds — that’s what they do in Columbia — I brewed a large pot for everyone at my apartment. It was a Saturday morning that followed a long night of unspeakable behavior and both men and women alike were in need of a caffeine boost. To our delight, once the pot was brewed, the coffee tasted as good as it smelled and none of us perished from drinking it.

Is Wake the Fuck Up the best coffee that I ever drank? No, and I didn’t expect it to be. It was, however, a pleasant surprise since coming into the taste test I had very low expectations for its quality. After drinking it several times over the last few days, I can honestly say that Wake the Fuck Up coffee offers more than just an enjoyable, yet offensive name. The coffee is an extremely potent pick-me up with a very respectable taste.

Wake the Fuck Up! was launched in 2004 and is a bold, dark New Orleans-style coffee that is a blend of Arabica beans from Brazil. It can be bought online or in specialty/gourmet stores throughout this great nation. “