Allan Houston just put his house on the market for $19.9 million dollars and man, it has a fuck load of amenities for a bro to enjoy. There’s an indoor basketball court, a heated pool, a sauna and spa, a full gym, a golf practice area equipped with a putting green and sand trap, a gigantic walk-in closet with a built in TV (sound of tires screeching).
Wait. A. Minute.
What guy spends that kind of time in his closet? I own like 13 shirts. I don’t need to turn on the BIG GAME for 12 seconds to help me decide which gingham J.Crew shirt I’m going to wear each day. Even if I did have a wardrobe the size of Allan Houston’s, I don’t foresee myself ever spending more than two seconds picking out something to wear. But hey, maybe Allan didn’t have a lot of clothes as a kid or something. Maybe he just sits in his closet, watches TV, and spends time with all the awesome clothes he has.
Fuck if I know.
What I do know, however, is I need that golf practice facility and I need it NOW.
More photos of things you can’t afford to own are below. And if you can afford it you can 1) find the listing with Houlihan Lawrence and 2) go fuck yourself.