Pet ownership is hard. You have to walk, feed and entertain them for hours every day, and what do you get in return? NOTHIN’. Well, technically you get companionship but hiring a hooker once every few weeks or so is probably cheaper than owning a dog.
So when your girlfriend comes home begging for the two of you to adopt a puppy, show her this video of a beagle incessantly honking a car horn as one of many reasons not to get a pet. Leave out the part about hookers though – she probably won’t appreciate that.