Bros And Lady Bros Shared The Best Ways They’ve Ever Been Hit On So Take Notes If You Like Having Sex
The ‘pick up line’ comes in many, many forms. It can be an impromptu joke, it can be a cheesy/recycled line that’s been around for ages, or it can be an unexpected physical gesture. It’s foolish to try and define what ‘the best pick up line of all time’ is because the best pick up lines are ones that are perfect for that moment, and not every moment is the same. Over on AskReddit a bunch of bros and lady bros shared the best ways that they’ve ever been hit on, and some of their stories are fucking incredible. Their stories also just prove my point, that the best pick up lines are ‘the best’ because they were perfect for that specific scenario, and wouldn’t necessarily work outside of the confines of that interaction.
I’ve culled the best stories from that thread and shared them with you below so that you bros can take notes, and get some serious inspiration on the best ways to initiate conversation. As just a side note before we get to the best pick up lines people have ever had used on them I want to share with you all my alternate headline for this post, which I was told was too podunk: ‘Bros And Lady Bros Shared The Best Ways They’ve Ever Been Hit On And Ya’ll Are Smoother Than Grandma’s Gravy‘….You’d click that shit, right?!?! Anyways, here are the best ways that bros and lady bros have ever been hit on, SO TAKE NOTES!
This Dude Definitely Gets Laid, A Lot
My friend frequently says this to girls:
You wanna have the best sex of your life?
Then I’m the guy for you
Sometimes Math Can Get You Laid
In math class, he asked me to help him solve a really long math problem.
The answer was his phone number.
Mentioned this in another thread. I was traveling abroad with a theatre group and at a pub in Edinburgh I got this one:
Him: Have you come in Scotland before?
Me: (with confused look) Do you mean ‘Have I come TO Scotland before?”
File This Under: Yeeeaaaahhhh, That TOTALLY Happened
I had a bully in college, if you can believe it. He was this jerk in my class that used to make fun of me for being anorexic (I really was). He would make comments every class and I felt too old to be going to the professor about it so I’d sit as far away as possible. One day while walking to my car, he came up behind me, made some comment about how I was going to blow away it was so windy and threw a half eaten big mac at my head. It got all over my hair. One of the guys in my class, who was obviously aware this has been happening, came up and punched him right in the mouth, knocked him flat on his back. The guy who punched him (not my bully) came over to me afterwards, as I was just in awe, and said “I’ve been trying to ask you out for awhile now but never built up the courage and that guy just really pisses me off and I hope I didn’t just ruin my chances, because I’m really not a jerk. That guy is. I’m totally hitting on you by hitting on him”.
He was super cool. We went on a few dates but ended up being friends.
Be As Direct As Possible, Sometimes
Me: I like your shirt.
Cashier: I like your face.
Math And Booze Do Not Mix Well
A girl once came up to me at a bar and asked, “Hey what’s the square root of 69?”
So I told her it’s about 8.3.
She made a weird face, said “oh” and walked away.
An hour later we see her again at the bar next door. She walks up to me again.
“Hey what’s the square root of 100?”
I said, “Ten.”
She said, “Are you sure? Because I could have sworn the answer was you.”
I was a little bit drunk and said, “Nope, it’s definitely 10. “U” isn’t even a number. I guess hypothetically since it’s a variable it CAN be correct but then you’re not really solving the equation are you. What is it with you and math anyway?”
She said “wow” and walked away again. My friends laughed at me and told me she was hitting on me.
I was like, “oh.”
So I found her in the bar and I went up to her and asked, “Hey what’s the square root of having sex tonight?”
She looked confused as fuck. So I asked her again and laughed.
She goes, “Dude what the fuck”
And I say “I don’t know you’re the one who’s wet for math” and for some reason I winked.
She told me to get the fuck away.
Went back to my friends who were cracking up even harder.
Turns out the girl left earlier, the chick I said that to was some random girl that looked similar
Random girl walks up to me, calls me weird. Buddy of mine apologizes. They hook up and shit.
I walk home alone.
Found the original girl on Tinder completely on accident days later. We matched. Holy shit.
I message her. “Hey what’s the square root of 69? :)”
She messaged me back. “It’s about 8.3.”
We never talked again.
Short Girl’s Got Game
I’m super tall at 6’9″ for reference. Most girls have no game when it comes to pickup lines. I was at a concert a few months ago and this short girl came up with some serious A+ shit.
She tugged at my shirt from behind and motions for me to bend over a bit for her. So I do and she says, ‘you know it’s been a while since I climbed a tree.’ My first thought was what the shit is she talking about when suddenly as I’m still leaned over she jumps on my back and shimmies her way up till shes sitting on my shoulders. Then says she’s not getting down but if I want to walk her over to the bar she’ll buy us both a drink.
Well fucking played short girl.
Who Carries A Pen?!
This happened in the early 2000’s…..
He said, ‘excuse me, may I bother you for a pen?’
My friend dug in her purse and found him a pen.
He said, ‘Again, I am so sorry. do you also have a piece of scrap paper?’
My friend dug again through her purse and found him a piece of paper.
A few moments go by and here comes the guy again and says, “last time I’ll bother you, I promise. May I have your number now that I have a pen and paper?”
She was not amused.
Only In The South
“You a fine piece of ass for a white boy.” -elderly black lady, Atlanta
Booze = Conversational Lubricant
“I get so touchy-feely when I get drunk.”
Her: “Want to grab a drink?”
Lead By Example
At a party, took my hand and led me into a back bedroom, closed/locked the door and started stripping off her clothes.
Non-subtle clues always work the best.
Who Hits On The Waitresses At A Wedding And Not The Bridesmaids?
At a wedding reception I overheard a fairly average looking fella ask one of the waitresses “Do you have an ugly boyfriend?” She answered no, naturally enough, to which he shot back “do you want one?” Smooth line.
What Was That Guy In A Cat Shirt Really Trying To Accomplish Here?
At a bar, some guy comes over with this silky, cat face print shirt. He talks me into touching it, I do. I look surprised and say “Wow thats really nice, what is that, boyfriend material?” He freaks, “Boyfriend? WHAT? NO!” He walks away. I don’t flirt anymore.