Bros And Lady Bros Shared The Best Ways They’ve Ever Been Hit On So Take Notes If You Like Having Sex

by 3 years ago  •  3 Comments

The ‘pick up line’ comes in many, many forms. It can be an impromptu joke, it can be a cheesy/recycled line that’s been around for ages, or it can be an unexpected physical gesture. It’s foolish to try and define what ‘the best pick up line of all time’ is because the best pick up lines are ones that are perfect for that moment, and not every moment is the same. Over on AskReddit a bunch of bros and lady bros shared the best ways that they’ve ever been hit on, and some of their stories are fucking incredible. Their stories also just prove my point, that the best pick up lines are ‘the best’ because they were perfect for that specific scenario, and wouldn’t necessarily work outside of the confines of that interaction.

I’ve culled the best stories from that thread and shared them with you below so that you bros can take notes, and get some serious inspiration on the best ways to initiate conversation. As just a side note before we get to the best pick up lines people have ever had used on them I want to share with you all my alternate headline for this post, which I was told was too podunk: ‘Bros And Lady Bros Shared The Best Ways They’ve Ever Been Hit On And Ya’ll Are Smoother Than Grandma’s Gravy‘….You’d click that shit, right?!?! Anyways, here are the best ways that bros and lady bros have ever been hit on, SO TAKE NOTES!


This Dude Definitely Gets Laid, A Lot

McMentat:

My friend frequently says this to girls:
You wanna have the best sex of your life?
Uh…no…
Then I’m the guy for you


Sometimes Math Can Get You Laid

tofucow717:

In math class, he asked me to help him solve a really long math problem.
The answer was his phone number.


Scotland FTW

karmacorn:

Mentioned this in another thread. I was traveling abroad with a theatre group and at a pub in Edinburgh I got this one:
Him: Have you come in Scotland before?
Me: (with confused look) Do you mean ‘Have I come TO Scotland before?”
Him: No.


File This Under: Yeeeaaaahhhh, That TOTALLY Happened

autumnx:

I had a bully in college, if you can believe it. He was this jerk in my class that used to make fun of me for being anorexic (I really was). He would make comments every class and I felt too old to be going to the professor about it so I’d sit as far away as possible. One day while walking to my car, he came up behind me, made some comment about how I was going to blow away it was so windy and threw a half eaten big mac at my head. It got all over my hair. One of the guys in my class, who was obviously aware this has been happening, came up and punched him right in the mouth, knocked him flat on his back. The guy who punched him (not my bully) came over to me afterwards, as I was just in awe, and said “I’ve been trying to ask you out for awhile now but never built up the courage and that guy just really pisses me off and I hope I didn’t just ruin my chances, because I’m really not a jerk. That guy is. I’m totally hitting on you by hitting on him”.
He was super cool. We went on a few dates but ended up being friends.


Be As Direct As Possible, Sometimes

monkey_swagger:

Me: I like your shirt.
Cashier: I like your face.


Math And Booze Do Not Mix Well

alexisaacs:

A girl once came up to me at a bar and asked, “Hey what’s the square root of 69?”
So I told her it’s about 8.3.
She made a weird face, said “oh” and walked away.
An hour later we see her again at the bar next door. She walks up to me again.
“Hey what’s the square root of 100?”
I said, “Ten.”
She said, “Are you sure? Because I could have sworn the answer was you.”
I was a little bit drunk and said, “Nope, it’s definitely 10. “U” isn’t even a number. I guess hypothetically since it’s a variable it CAN be correct but then you’re not really solving the equation are you. What is it with you and math anyway?”
She said “wow” and walked away again. My friends laughed at me and told me she was hitting on me.
I was like, “oh.”
So I found her in the bar and I went up to her and asked, “Hey what’s the square root of having sex tonight?”
She looked confused as fuck. So I asked her again and laughed.
She goes, “Dude what the fuck”
And I say “I don’t know you’re the one who’s wet for math” and for some reason I winked.
She told me to get the fuck away.
Went back to my friends who were cracking up even harder.
Turns out the girl left earlier, the chick I said that to was some random girl that looked similar
Random girl walks up to me, calls me weird. Buddy of mine apologizes. They hook up and shit.
I walk home alone.
Found the original girl on Tinder completely on accident days later. We matched. Holy shit.
I message her. “Hey what’s the square root of 69? :)”
She messaged me back. “It’s about 8.3.”
We never talked again.


Short Girl’s Got Game
kaliforniamike:

I’m super tall at 6’9″ for reference. Most girls have no game when it comes to pickup lines. I was at a concert a few months ago and this short girl came up with some serious A+ shit.
She tugged at my shirt from behind and motions for me to bend over a bit for her. So I do and she says, ‘you know it’s been a while since I climbed a tree.’ My first thought was what the shit is she talking about when suddenly as I’m still leaned over she jumps on my back and shimmies her way up till shes sitting on my shoulders. Then says she’s not getting down but if I want to walk her over to the bar she’ll buy us both a drink.
Well fucking played short girl.


Who Carries A Pen?!

deckpumps_n_deldos:

This happened in the early 2000’s…..
He said, ‘excuse me, may I bother you for a pen?’
My friend dug in her purse and found him a pen.
He said, ‘Again, I am so sorry. do you also have a piece of scrap paper?’
My friend dug again through her purse and found him a piece of paper.
A few moments go by and here comes the guy again and says, “last time I’ll bother you, I promise. May I have your number now that I have a pen and paper?”
She was not amused.


Only In The South

wvufan44:

“You a fine piece of ass for a white boy.” -elderly black lady, Atlanta


Booze = Conversational Lubricant

NotAThrowAwayUN:

Me:
“I get so touchy-feely when I get drunk.”
Her: “Want to grab a drink?”


Lead By Example

PirateKilt:

At a party, took my hand and led me into a back bedroom, closed/locked the door and started stripping off her clothes.
Non-subtle clues always work the best.


Who Hits On The Waitresses At A Wedding And Not The Bridesmaids?

MoNguSs:

At a wedding reception I overheard a fairly average looking fella ask one of the waitresses “Do you have an ugly boyfriend?” She answered no, naturally enough, to which he shot back “do you want one?” Smooth line.


What Was That Guy In A Cat Shirt Really Trying To Accomplish Here?

SucculentVariations:

At a bar, some guy comes over with this silky, cat face print shirt. He talks me into touching it, I do. I look surprised and say “Wow thats really nice, what is that, boyfriend material?” He freaks, “Boyfriend? WHAT? NO!” He walks away. I don’t flirt anymore.


Elaborate, But SMOOTH AS FUCK

MarshianMusic:

I would drive my friend (now girlfriend) home from school and one day she asked if we could go to Walmart because she really needed a lime for some reason. We get to the produce section and I notice she is having trouble putting them into her bag. I ask if she needs help and she drops them on the floor, looks at me and says “Sorry, I’m bad at pick-up limes.”


This One’s Not Even Creative, I Don’t See How This Would Work More Than 50% Of The Time

heyyl0w:

My first day working at Gamestop.
Me: I can’t wait to get off work
Him: Why, do you have a hot date?
Me, laughing: No
Him: Do you want one?


Cheryl from ‘Archer’, Is That You?

pero_dero:
Met a German girl in Amsterdam, apparently she was a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) purple belt (I’m a blue belt). Out of nowhere she said that “I always love when a hot guy chokes me out, want to try?”.


I’m Not Buying That This Was The First Contact, Maybe This Solidified It Though

theboy1der:

I was working as a drive-through teller at a bank. She sent a note up through the tube that said “I’d like to withdraw your phone number.”
Married 8 years later- married almost 9 years now.


Someone Has To Make The First Move

-eDgAR-:

When I was in college I was sitting in the lounge of my dorm doing some studying when this girl, who was a year older than me was passing by the hallway with a pizza. We had talked a few times before and I had the sense that she had a thing for me and I found her incredibly attractive. She says to me, “Hey, I just got this pizza and I can’t finish all of it, do you want to come to my room and watch House?” I of course didn’t hesitate, who could resist a beautiful girl and pizza.
Once she had me in her room she made a move before we even ate a slice. It was super attractive to me that she was so straight forward, it was my first semester at college and I was not used to women being like that. All in all it was the best way to be picked up and some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Also, we did end up eating pizza and watching House afterwards.


This Is Something Only A Truly Drunk Person Could Say (Probably In Alaska)

Budke:

Was at a party and I was talking to this girl. She mentioned how it’s starting to get cold and I told her that’s why I have the beard.
She said she sometimes doesn’t shave during the winter because she doesn’t like being cold. She then takes a sip of her beer, pauses and says “how would you like your beard to be the first hair my pussy has seen in months?”
Good times.


Good Ol’ Rocky Top

J0N_DeNVeR_S0Ng:

Drunk girl: are you from tennessee?
Friend of drunk girl: gah* you ask if they are from memphis

Missing From The Pick Up Line: Because You’re The Only Ten-I-See


Hawaiian Shirts At The Bowling Alley

Kairi091:

I’m at a bowling alley, wearing my sweet Hawaiian shirt with a cross necklace cuz I’m a 19 year old badass.
Girl approaches and asks for my number. I already have a girlfriend, but I decide to flirt a little bit before I break her heart.
“Hey, can I get your phone number”
Me, smiling and sly and all that, “I don’t know, hon. Who’s askin?”
Her: “My friend over there” as she points to the most flamboyantly gay dude I’ve ever seen.
Me, much more sheepish: “oh… I’m, uh, not gay.”
Her, in a serious tone: “then why are you wearing that shirt?


Incarceration

ArcadeIsland:

“You ever seen a one-eyed snake before?”
“Um, no?”
“Turn around, one’s right behind you.”
Yikes. Anywho, prison was rough, kids.


The Fair

snappingturtlesmile:

I was working a concession stand at my local fair, and a gentleman came up and purchased food. 5 minutes later, I noticed he was standing at the counter again. I approached him and said, “Is everything ok? Did I forget something?” and he said “Yeah, you forgot to give me your number.”


Yup, This Definitely Never Happened

madwookiee:

a girlfriend and i had just broken up
she didn’t smoke weed
so i was at my dealers place, and he was joking with me about being single
i said, next chick i’m fucking will bring me a beer and be able to roll my blunts
one of his girlfriends friends came walking out of the kitchen, with a devilish grin
handed me a pbr, took the rolling tray, and rolled up a fantastic dutchie
she lit it, passed it to me.. we spent the next couple years together


How To Get Married

kacarey:

The night my husband & I met through friends, I was not impressed by him (mainly because a string of terrible dates had me very disinterested in any further dates of any kind) but he was trying really hard to get my number and learn more about me. At the end of the night, I said goodbye to him & my friends and he offered to walk me to my car. I said no, thanks and turned to point to my car to say it wasn’t far. He had finally had enough of my bullhead stubbornness and said calmly stated, “I’m gunna walk you to your car” and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was so caught off guard and surprised, I just broke out laughing as my friends waved goodbye. When we got to my car, I gave him my number. Just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary yesterday 🙂


And since we’re all sharing here I thought I’d talk about the best pick up line a girl ever dropped on me (one that went completely over my head until way after I’d lost her number).

I was at the Patriot Saloon in lower Manhattan, one of the last remaining dive bars in the city, and probably the only ‘biker bar’ in all of Manhattan. I’d only been living in NYC for a year or so and hadn’t explored outside of the city’s walls too much and was talking to this chick at the bar about how I wanted to rent a car and drive out to Long Island and see what it was all about. The girl was on a pub crawl with her friends, and as she’s leaving she taps me on the shoulder, drops me her number and says ‘call me later if you want to take a ride’. Being the drunk idiot that I am I thought she meant the car ride out to Long Island and stuffed her number away only to lose it, and the next morning after sobering up I realized what she actually meant: ‘call me for a booty call tonight between the hours of midnight and 4am.’

Anyways, if you bros want to share your own stories you can drop them down below in the comments and if they’re good enough I’ll add them to this post! And to read the full thread over on AskReddit CLICK HERE!


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