A Bro’s Guide to Squirting

You sit there, motionless, having no idea what the hell you’ve just witnessed. “Was that pee?” you wonder while slowly removing your hand from below the sheets, pausing the clip on a woman lying on a freshly soaked set.

What you just witnessed, my pornographic padawan, is what we, the general porn-viewing audience, refer to as “squirting”, or “female ejaculation”.

“Shejaculation” or “shemen” is still somewhat of a mystery among scientists and industry professionals. There are no definite conclusions as to how it happens, why it happens, and why some people cannot achieve such fountainous orgasms. But there is some research and available personal experiences, of which I’ve read with eye-bulging interest, learned about, and will now share with you.

So what is it?
Let me first stress that it is not pee. Although, according to reports, that’s what a woman thinks she’s about to do before riding the wave. The liquid expelled does look more like urine than it does our own baby gravy, but has no odor and is completely clear. Those who have tasted the ejaculate admit it tastes somewhat sweet, like simple syrup.

Female ejaculation, put in the simplest of terms, is an expulsion of fluid from the Skeneʼs gland (which, according to a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, acts similarly to our prostate glands), and is released through the urethra just before or during orgasm. This female ejaculate contains high levels of prostatic acid phosphatase, similar to our own prostate gland. Just, you know, without the swimmers.

Disclaimer: Before I begin, you should know that many squirting scenes can be faked by inserting water in the vagina. (Gross.) Real squirting is rare.

If you want to make it happen:
If you’re more of a visual learner, may I suggest watching this SFW video explaining the not-so-simple process. For a hands-on and pornographic approach, just type “squirting tutorial” into Google search, there are dozens of free clips available.

For a simple, literal explanation, read on.

Here’s what you need:

  • You
  • Woman
  • Vibrator
  • Confidence

The process:
Find her G-spot: The G-Spot is located one to two inches within the vagina, near the front of her pelvis. Remember to enter palm up. It may be hard to locate, but with stimulation, it becomes larger and easier to find. Have her help you locate the G-spot, then stimulate it with the vibrator. This is the time she will feel like she has to pee and might feel embarrassed and opt out. Assure her this pressure is normal and that she will not pee. Do not tell her some guy from the internet told you to say this.

Listen to her and her body: Though it can be difficult when stimulated, try to relieve any tension she’s carrying throughout her body. The more relaxed she feels, the more likely she will squirt. Follow her orders and let her be your guide when storming the vaginal seas. If she wants it faster, harder, slower, comply. When the squirt occurs, do not react in the way you will want to (“HOLY SHIT, I DID IT!”). Instead, seriously, keep her comfortable.

If all attempts prove futile, don’t sweat it. It’s believed only 10-60% of the female population is capable of squirting. Keep in mind that squirting comes much easier to some, and takes a lot of practice for others. Just don’t give up, keep stimulating, keep applying new techniques, and hopefully you will be able to provide your partner with an orgasm she'll love, and you can brag about for years to come.

Good luck!

[Water jet image via Shutterstock]