Eating That Burger King Whopper With The Black Bun Has A Wonderfully Hilarious Side Effect
By now, everyone in America is apprised that Burger King pulled out all the stops and unleashed a burger with a black bun for Halloween.
I’m not Anthony Bourdain, eating unfamiliar food doesn’t happen in my daily life. If I go to a dinner party at someone’s house and they whip out a crock of boiled crickets or whatever people in weird countries eat, I’m not touching them. Fuck being polite, I’m leaving on the spot. I am so squeamish when it comes to uncomfortably gross-looking food that if I’m out to dinner, no one at my table can order fish that is presented as the WHOLE FUCKING FISH. That’s disgusting.
While the black bun Whopper from Burger King isn’t necessarily as gross-looking as dead fish on a plate, it’s highly problematic for me to sit next to the kind of heathen that would ingest such a thing.
That said, it does have one sensational side effect that almost has me intrigued enough to try it.
What’s that side effect, you ask? Well, my friends, the side effect is that it makes your shits GREEN. Or at least that’s what all these people on Twitter are claiming.
Yesterday I had the Halloween Whopper… Today my poop is green. Yesterday was the last time I’ll have the Halloween Whopper.
— Daniel Rodriguez (@Danny_Seth) October 4, 2015
— Jessica (@jessz2cute4u) October 2, 2015
thanks for the green poop @BurgerKing
— Chel$ey (@cheIseyyysmile) October 1, 2015
One crazy asshole even posted a photo of his green shit, which I’m not posting, but you can see it here. Oh yeah, that’s fucking green. Almost too green if you ask me.
Also, I’m thinking Burger King would be doing themselves a disservice by not bringing this back for St Patty’s Day. This is their version of the Shamrock Shake, only shittier. They should ride it for all it’s worth. Or at least until the government asks them to shut it down because an epidemic breaks out where people everywhere stop flushing public toilets so the person who uses it after them can see their green logs of glory. (Not that I would ever do that…I WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.)