Woman In A Bra Gets Jumped, Kicked In Face Twice In Most Lit Afternoon At A Chuck E. Cheese’s Ever
Shit can get pretty wild at a weekend afternoon Chuck E. Cheese’s birthday party. I know when I was growing up, I saw muggings, gang fights, moms popping on brass knuckles as they walked in the door, and, one particular day, where a parent performed several ISIS-style beheadings in a way to intimidate all the other patrons to give their tickets to their kid.
It worked. They got so many tickets, and the boy walked out of there with one of those Casio boomboxes that they had high up on the hooks above the counter.
Sure, the Casio was covered in blood (you should see how far a carotid artery spurts when sliced with one of those flimsy, plastic, serrated knives they give you; you gotta really apply force and saw and saw and saw and that creates this great backlog of blood as the artery is squeezed tight, then boom, gushing, shooting out, blood over the pizza and the animatronic animals and the skee-ball ramp — the skee ball ramp was so thick with blood that later, when we tried to roll skee-balls up it, they wouldn’t make it halfway before coming to a sluggish stop (our parents tried to calm us down by letting us play games, make it seem like everything was normal, while the police interviewed them), but it is not normal playing skee-ball on a blood drenched ramp after you watched three people get their heads cut off), but once they wiped it down, I’m sure it played CDs just great.
[H/T Drunken StepFather]