Cute Norwegian Sex-Ed Show Host French Kisses A Tomato, Teaches People How To Masturbate

by 5 years ago
Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.30.02 PM

screenshot


God damnit, just when I thought I couldn’t have been prouder to be an American, I’m now thinking it wouldn’t have been so bad to grow up Norwegian. The sex education in my middle school were amateur hour. The whole class snickered when the teacher said ‘penis,’ and that’s not a good environment for someone like me, who was taking diligent notes in the back of the class.

Line Jansrud (pictured above, demonstrating how big my penis is) is a 29-year-old celebrity host of the state-funded educational television series, Newton, on Norway’s NRK TV. The series recently aired a segment that has some people’s panties in a bunch, literally. Jansrud candidly covered topics such as masterbation, french kissing, and the dreaded hickey.

The segment is in Norwegian but luckily the Daily Dot did the translating of the juiciest segments. Believe it or not, the full segment is too aggressively sexual for BroBible (close-ups of real dicks and vaginas), so instead of getting fired, I’ll just hit you with some screenshots of the highlights.

Jansrud says that puberty “gives you a new body that can make children if you have sex—otherwise known as fucking, screwing, shagging, getting it on, or making love.”

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.38.41 PM

screenshot


One of the highlights of the segment was when Jansrud demonstrated how to make out with your partner. On a tomato. Didn’t even have the courtesy to take it to dinner first.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.50.25 PM

screenshot


That’s the face of someone who enjoyed making out with a tomato a bit too much.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.51.50 PM

screenshot


Looks like the floor’s a bit dusty.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.53.40 PM

screenshot


Oh, nevermind, she’s just getting a hickey. From a vacuum cleaner. For the kids.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.55.00 PM

screenshot


If I could be a fly on the wall when Jansrud explains this one to her friends at brunch.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 3.58.19 PM

screenshot


“He sounds like he sucks.” You have no idea, Linda. Now go home to your cats.

It doesn’t stop there. Jansrud then lubes up a plastic penis and clitoris and basically starts finger-blasting the mannequin. “For it to be pleasant, it’s vital that the vagina be moist enough,” she insists. Thank God no one sits behind me.

According to the Daily Dot translation, “now, what everyone starts with sooner or later, but rarely talks about, stroking your own sex parts. To masturbate,” she says. “Both the clitoris of the girl and the head of the penis on a boy is full of nerves that make it pleasant to touch.”

And what’s a children’s sex-ed show without blowing up a condom just for the fuck of it?

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 4.07.17 PM

screenshot


Newton’s latest segment has come under some harsh criticism for being “borderline pornographic,” but this laissez-faire approach to sexuality is standard in Nordic countries. No matter what your stance the issue, it sure as hell beats a Texas high school dismissing sex-ed programs all together, resulting in a chlamydia outbreak.

Mean-Girls_Sex-ed

giphy


[H/T Daily Dot]


TAGSNorwaysex-ed