Do Chicks Save the Dick Pics Guys Send Them? Plus Should You Hook Up With Your Ex Over Break?
Q: When chicks send a bro a naked picture there's a 99.99% chance that picture(s) gets saved (phone, computer, etc). My question is do you ladies do the same thing? Are dick and ab pics getting saved for possible use at a later time?
A: For most girls, sending is more frequent than receiving — because let's be honest; with the exception of Snookie or Rosie O’Donnell, a naked woman is simply more attractive than a naked dude. You just can't argue that. So when we do receive, ordinarily we keep to ourselves. I always warn about getting too nudie-pic happy because that shit can come back to bite you in the ass with something as minor as a tweet or major as a political campaign, so be smart about it.
Funnily enough, my roommate sends me her own naughty pics that she sends her man friends, but its usually just to frazzle me in public, but at the end of the day I dig that shit.
Q: Ok so my ex-gf just got engaged to a foreign guy who's 8 years older than her and lives in another country. They've only been together for about 3 1/2 months — she broke up with me recently after a year and a half together, because she thought I was too unreliable. I want her to be happy, but I also know she's not thinking clearly. Is it possible for me to convince her to call it off?
A: Eloping with an elderly European…interesting (read: irresponsible) choice on the part of your ex. Despite the blatant impracticality of this relationship, I hate to tell you that you won't be able to call it off– it just isn't going to happen. The finale of this bizarre relationship is something that will occur suddenly and chaotically within 6 weeks to 6 months of the start of their marriage, when she realizes the vast errors of her ways. At which point she'll undoubtedly come running back to you, expecting to be swaddled in a big ole American flag safety blanket. This could be a great chance for you to remind her how great it is to be with a real (read: circumcised) man–but its your call whether or not you accept her back into your “unreliable” arms again. From where I'm standing, homegirl seems like a bit of a lost soul.
Q: I've had sex with five different girls, gotten many blowjobs and handjobs, done many things– but I've never cum. Not once. The only time I cum is when I'm spankin' my monkey. What the hell is wrong with me?
A: I won't necessarily say that anything is wrong with you…but I will say you probably aren't a straight guy.
As in, I think you're into dudes, dude.
Which I of course have nothing against, but also find it very hard to believe that you yourself haven't seen the gay lightbulb go off yet. At this point you don't have anything to lose–except of course your gayginity, but everybody's gotta lose that sometime…
Q: So my ex from high school has been texting me the past couple weeks wanting to hook up at home over break. I'm trying to decide and need some advice.
Pros: Its easy, I won't have to spend money on dates, and we used to date so she knows what she’s doing.
Cons: she’s not the best looking, she can get clingy, and I end up back at school getting texts “just to say hi”.
Basically, I can do way better at school, and I don't want to take a step back cause I've come a long way in regards to girls, but at home there are so many less options. Do I deal with the clingy-ness to save a dry spell? Do I try to reconnect with other girls from high school? Do I do both?
A: Back in my heyday I could never get enough of those home rekindlings. The anticipation, the sketchiness of sneaking into your parent’s home…I just ate that shit up. But home relationships can also be tricky since they exist in a sort of hookup purgatory; you jump in headfirst when you get home and then put the entire thing on hold the second you leave and return to your actual life. Avoid lowering your standards, and take a stab instead at some of your other home options, because god knows girls love “that guy who got so cute after high school”. Although, sometimes it's best to leave your high school drama at the senior prom and lay low for a break every once in a while too.
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