Freshman GDI is Having a Tough Time Hooking Up in College, Plus Another Bro Asks Does Size Matter?

by 5 years ago

Q: Dearest BroBabe,
I'm having a hard time getting girls. I'm a college freshman GDI at a school where the Greek system is huge. I am a swimmer though (don't worry I'm not as dumb as Ryan Lochte), but a bunch of girls tell me I'm attractive/hot  then end up not wanting to hook up. What am I doing wrong here? I've tried being the nice/confident guy, but that doesn't work. Another thing probably worth mentioning is that I don't drink, and I don't want to take advantage of any girls (i.e. sober sex).

A: Honestly, I think the biggest problem you're facing is the non-flattering truth that most college girls prefer to at least start off…with non-sober sex. Sucks to admit that, but it's a sratter's world and those salty bitches make the rules. Believe me guy–you're gonna kill it in the real world; but until you “party” to the status quo, or at least be out and wild enough to seem like you're partying, it's just gonna turn a lot of chicks off. Generally speaking, their loss– and they may realize that over the course of the next couple of years.

Also, being a freshman in general doesn't help your cause; hang in there, Ryan Lochte.

Q: My girlfriend recently broke up with me (not that big of a deal, I can move on given my space), but she wants to stay friends and keeps trying to talk to me because “maybe we can work it out next semester.” She doesn't seem to grasp that if she wants to hook up with people, as she's expressed interest in, I need my space to move on with my life. Am I wrong in thinking that she just wants to keep me around as a back up? And why do girls always want to be friends right afterwards (I understand to ease their own guilt after breaking up)?

A: You sir, are not incorrect in your thoughts. She's hanging onto the emotional connection with you while making other connections with randos. You're not benefiting much, unless you're also fine with having occasional emotionless sex with her. And she probably wants to “stay friends” with you because, as a woman, she ignorantly assumes you are more shaken up by this than you are. A good way to prove you're just fine would be hooking up with other girls and then telling your new best friend all about it. 

Q: Wieners: What’s big, what’s small, or does it even matter ?

A: Ah, the age old wang question. I wish I could cover this in greater detail without compromising the state of my ladylike-ness, but it's a pretty complex topic that requires more of a thesis with props rather than a verbal synopsis. Bottom line boys; I've seen em' awkwardly small and uncomfortably large and frankly, somewhere in between is where it's good. If you fall under this range, use your confidence and what god blessed you with to give it  your all in the sack and make  your lady scream. As long as you can do that, we don't give a shit how your dick would measure against a ruler.

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