Dude Comes Home From Work To Find Two Huge Snakes Having Snake Sex And It’s A Porno I Never Want To See Again
It’s not something I’d like to admit, but I’d prefer being in a cave with an army of ISIS soldiers wearing an American flag suit than being in the same area code as a slimy, slithering snake. They are reincarnated demons and if I never see one again, I’d be mighty fine with it.
I have a story to tell that really hammers home how fucking petrifying snakes are.
A friend of mine named Big Mike had an 9-foot pet python when he was a kid and he told me a story that I will never forget.
One day his dad brought home a live rabbit because apparently the snake was a good demon that day or something. They kept the snake in an empty room within their house, lining the floors with newspapers to easily dispose of it’s shit and piss and shedding skin (whole other disgusting story.)
They put the rabbit in the center of the room and stood near the door to watch nature take its course. Instead of running for the door, the rabbit was so scared it was frozen stiff in the center of the room. The snake knew this. The snake knows everything. It’s fucking petrifying.
Instead of lunging at its frozen dinner, the python stretched its body along two adjoining walls closest to the door, essentially blocking the rabbit from making an escape. The snake then spent 30-40 minutes inching in toward the rabbit, its body remaining in a U shape, serving as moving barrier, making the room smaller and smaller for its frightened prey. The rabbit was trembling in fear.
Big Mike and his father had left after about 15 minutes to eat dinner or something.
They returned to a bloodbath.
The python had wrapped its body around the rabbit and squeezed so tight, that the rabbit’s internal organs had popped out its asshole. THE RABBITS INTERNAL ORGANS HAD POPPED OUT ITS ASSHOLE, BROS.
The rabbit, which was now quite literally just a shell of itself, was being inhaled by the python, it’s jaw extending well above the height of its own body.
Big Mike then told me that for the next couple days, he could see the bulge in the snakes body while it was digesting the rabbit, each day the the bulge got smaller and smaller as it went further and further down into its disgusting, scaly body until it shit out the remains.
I was high as fuck when he told me that story and my jaw may have been stretched wider than the snakes when it ate the entire rabbit whole.
[h/t For the Win]